I pushed myself too hard.

The day after the D&C, I still showed up to my friend’s wedding where my daughter is the flower girl.

Sto. Domingo church was not airconned and hot, so I spent the last half hour in the car napping. The doctor said that to prevent spinal anesthesia, to lie down whenever I felt dizzy or had a headache.

Later that night, I donned a beautiful red dress for my husband’s grandmother’s 100th birthday — nobody knew I just had my D&C the day before.

Everyone was in their best. I had a solo in singing the Chinese song, Ming Tien Hui Geng Hao (明天會更好) and I didn’t want to let anyone down.

The next two days, I spent “resting” at home but I still managed to pay everyone’s salary and our rental since it was the 13th. On the times I had a headache, I lay in bed. Then when I felt better, I finished the work.

On Friday, I did rest. My mom was kind enough to buy me food from Angel’s Pizza and Miensan, which was super sweet.

Yesterday, my presence was needed in the office, and I spent the afternoon orienting our new hires:

I should be in bed, and I stubbornly did not do so as much as I should. There’s so much work to be done, and nobody to do it but me.

For example, it is my husband’s grandmother’s birthday and I am an active part of it. How can I not be there to show support especially if I do have a solo?

I have never consciously let anyone down, let alone my mother-in-law. To her defense, my MIL did not pressure me to go. She was concerned about me:

It was me who wanted to not let anyone down because to be fair, I can still do it. I was not physically incapacitated. I didn’t want to be maarte and not go when I could really go.

Everyone is concerned of course. My supervisor insists I rest as much as possible. Bestie gave me this sweet gift to give encouragement even though she’s experiencing personal challenges of her own.

What’s the Lesson Here?

My default mode has always been,

“Be strong amidst challenges.” 

Unfortunately, in life, shit still has to be done. And often times, nobody but you can do it. And while it’s easy to be a victim and insist that somebody else can do it, make it a habit to be reliable and show up to do the work if you still can.

Now, I am sick with a cold. It’s my body telling me to slow down. I cannot smell the roses.

But life goes on.

Work goes on.

Time simply does not stop because you are sick.

And to be honest, so many other people are the ones who need help. These people still go on.

So I will rest and take it easy today and see where I go. However, when the next day comes, I will push myself again and work.

This is one of the cons of being a working mother with a full time business. It’s always a blessing to work, but having a lot of people depend on you does not allow you many days of breaks when you are sick. You force yourself to recover for them.

Happy Sunday everyone!!!