How to Protect your Marriage Against Adultery

This week, Amazon owner and billionaire Jeff Bezos and his wife announced they were going through an amicable divorce after four kids and 25 years of marriage.

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A day after their announcement, the real reason for the divorce was dropped to the media — Apparently, the tycoon was having an 8-month affair to celebrity host, Lauren Sanchez, complete with cringy sexts that include cheesy words like:

“I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon,”

And

 “I want to smell you, I want to breathe you in. I want to hold you tight.… I want to kiss your lips…. I love you. I am in love with you,” 

The media also alludes to Bezos sending his mistress nude photos of his supposedly big junk.

With fake boobs and lip fillers, who can complete with the brunette bombshell?

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MacKenzie Bezos married Jeff when he was relatively poor after meeting him at DE Shaw. She was one of the first employees at Amazon, and did the company’s accounting on its first year.

As Jeff is now worth USD 136.9 billion and there was no prenup, we can daresay that Mrs. Bezos is probably the BEST investor in the world:

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I share this news as a cautionary tale that husband cheating on their wives can happen to just about anyone. Last year, the couple happily celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.

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A few months later, they are getting divorced.

Because of another shameless woman, and probably more.

It’s really that fast, ladies.

So the question is, How does one protect our marriages?

I have only been married to my husband a little shy of 5 years so I am not one to talk. But I do notice some similarities between couples who have remained married through the ups and downs of life.

My mom and dad is one successful love story — Until my father’s death, my parents were inseparable, and theirs is a lesson on how to protect one’s marriage. Here’s how:

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1. They spend every day together. Where my dad was, she was there too.

I’ve always wondered why my mom is always with my dad wherever he went. Where my dad is, there she was too. My husband’s mother is also the same. Combined together, our parents have a combined 80 years of successful marriage between them.

Regardless of the occasion, my mom has always found her way to accompany my dad. I remember when I was in my teens, we joined my dad to Pegasus, a night club, for his friends gathering.

It was just a habit for my mom to accompany my dad wherever he went that even during bachelor parties, she was there and was the resident cool chick.

I knew of all their wives and their mistresses,” she would tell us. “It’s a boy’s thing. And we just let them be. It was their life after all.”

My mom was always beside my father that it never occurred to anyone that it was weird that she was there even during my father’s friends’ partook of extra-curricular activities. Everyone simply accepted that when they invited my dad, his wife and family would come along. Hence, we were present even during his business meetings and trips or when he played mahjong.

Later on, I realized that this wasn’t the norm and most wives stayed at home while their husbands had their good time. I think my mommy’s presence was a big reason why my father stayed loyal to her until he died of old age.

2. My father was super dependent on my mother for everything.

My mom was very smart. She was so efficient that she took care of my dad’s most basic tasks.

In the morning when he woke up, she has already laid out his toothbrush and toothpaste, his clothes and everything he needed for the day.

For lunch, she would debone the chicken and fish and lay it out for him to eat.

When they went on business trips, she would do everything — book the tickets, print the out, pack the clothes, fill up the forms, etc.

Why are you always serving daddy?” I asked her many times. “Why doesn’t he service you instead?”

It’s okay Bonita,” she answered. “It is my job to serve.”

Later on, I realized the value of her service.

Because she was very good at it, my father was dependent on her for everything.

He doesn’t have a telephone book because my mom would always dial his friend if he wanted to call them up for a chat. Hence, there were no privacy issues for him. His phone was her phone, and she knew whom exactly he was talking to and for what.

He doesn’t need to deal with the details as my mom does this for him. Hence, she’s the one who will handle the business permits, do the payroll, pay the taxes, and make sure that all business operations are in order. Consequently, if he was to leave my mom for another woman, his business would be in shutters since he does not know where anything is.

It’s hard to cheat on a woman who is so nice to you and handles all your affairs. Leaving her would mean a lot of hassle and inconvenience. Of course, before getting it on with a ho, my father would have to think whether the ho would be better than my mom in servicing him, and would toss that idea aside.

3. My mom made sure that she supported my dad with everything he did. She was his biggest cheerleader and enabler.

My mom spoiled my dad rotten.

Since she was always there beside him, he would bounce his ideas off her. She would meet all his friends and provide her input. She would be at his beck and call.

My mother made sure she was irreplaceable in his life by literally being irreplaceable. While she was not super beautiful by any means, she has made my father the center of her life, next to us kids. She never disrespected him or fought him head on. Instead, when he was wrong, she still kept quiet until she was proven right.

How different is my mom from many women, including me!

How can I support my husband if I know he’s doing the wrong thing?” I asked my mom.

How can you keep your husband if you always win?” would be the answer.

It is a good lesson to remember.

In Summary

We do not know what happened to Jeff and Mackenzie, and how the heck did something so good dissolve just like that.

However, as Jeff Bezos became increasingly successful, MacKenzie Bezos chose a different life path from her husband and became a prize winning novelist.

She was not privy to the small changes in his life, and was happy building her own career and taking care of their four children.

She noticed that he was taking more out of town trips away from the family, and allowed it. The opportunity was there to cheat since she was not there beside him because she believed him all the time.

Mackenzie Bezos almost stumbled on his mistress month ago when Jeff and his mistress flew out of town in their private jet, only to be consoled after her husband told her that the trip was merely for business. She would have caught on his lies if she chose to accompany Jeff on this trip, instead of letting him go alone.

She allowed him to steal away from her bed. At night, she was okay with him sleeping in a different bed/room from her, allowing him to sleep with his mistress when she’s not there. It would have been more logistically difficult if she was always there with him by his side.

Adultery can happen anytime, anywhere, and to anyone. 

I am not surprised that a man of Jeff Bezos stature would resort to finding a hot mistress on the side to boost up his ego. Time immemorial is full of tragic stories of women who help their husbands become successful, only to find themselves replaced when the next hot young thing comes along to seduce their husbands away.

But I am surprised that MacKenzie Bezos allowed this travesty to happen. The problem could have been avoided if she was only more intuitive, more hands on and more PRESENT.

Then again, she is set to gain USD 65 billion out of her husband’s wrong decision. After 25 years of loyal marriage and service, her husband’s adultery is a great excuse to cash out on a lonely, miserable marriage and still look like the good guy.

More power to MacKenzie Bezos — maybe divorce, while painful — is the right decision for her. Not everyone can come off with that much money in 25 years.

But we are not MacKenzie Bezos, and our husband is not as rich as Jeff. 

Personally, it serves my better interest to remain married for now. My husband is not as rich as Jeff Bezos that I am better off financially if we separate. My work with him is not yet finished, and we can still achieve more together than apart. Our daughter would greatly benefit from us still being together.

So yes, I will pray to God and lock my car. 

I hope you will too.

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About Tina

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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