My married friend learned that her husband was flirting with other women behind her back. Given that he needs to be based in the Southern area and their child studies here in Manila, they have spent many days apart per month despite flying back and forth to see each other.
The last time my friend caught her husband flirting, it was on Facebook with him liking and messaging sexy car show models.
Note: Image taken from the Internet to illustrate just how tempting car show models can be. Doesn’t mean friend’s husband is flirting with any of them.
It went unnoticed to the point that the husband was already having friendly chats with the model. Then he was caught.
After some groveling and a hesitant promise not to message these models on Facebook again, he’s back at it, this time befriending a mall cashier.
The worst part is that the friendship so to speak has been going on over the last 1.5 years. My friend’s husband has met this cashier at least once as admitted in their text conversation, and goodness knows what happened next, especially since they have continued their flirtatious relationship afterwards.
“I don’t think anything happened when they met,” my friend cried as she shared with me this story. “Right?”
I am not naive.
I will not delude myself into thinking that after months of build-up, nothing happened. Especially since the guy has gone on to invite the woman into his family apartment and stay in his room. But heck, why pour salt into the festering wound?
My friend was beyond herself, and her normal prim and proper demeanor was broken when she started to cry.
“I don’t know why he’s doing this again after promising that he will stop,” she moaned. “It is unbecoming for him to go out and date the cashier especially since he and his family are trying their best to keep a good reputation in the community. Why throw it away because of a piece of trash?”
To be honest, I don’t think the man was thinking of his family or his reputation when he eyed the cashier.
Put it this way, guys are very simple: He came, he saw and then he conquered. To hell with everything else. So his reaction was a very primal, carnal thing.
So the wife had her suspicions. Given the wife’s intuition is very strong, she woke up one day from a bad dream and looked over her husband’s phone.
Her blood ran cold —- She saw a message pop up just as soon as she looked. It was from another woman, and the text was a text that only a girlfriend would send. Something similar to this…
Dismayed, my friend accessed her husband’s emails, Facebook chats and phone messages. To her dismay, she saw that they’ve been messaging for over a year!
She carefully screenshot all the incriminating messages to confront him later on. Then she took a Valium and cried herself to sleep.
One week later, their love was strengthened and they are back together again.
Now a lot of you would ask wWahy. Given that the husband was already caught cheating, how the hell did he get away with it? Here is what he did:
1. Upon finding out that he was caught —- the maid told him how distraught the missus was — the husband kept calm, deleted all the incriminating messages, and waited for the wife to confront him.
There’s no point to keep any messages as further evidence. Delete every message you think your wife will frown upon.
2. When your wife confronts you, first deny everything. Do this so that she will show you what type of evidence she has on hand.
Wait for your wife to confront you. She will, you know? And she will ask you all the questions you don’t want to answer but should.
She needs an answer so give her some, but not all.
Answer questions to the goal of finding out what evidences she knows about, and which instances she does not know about. That way, you will know what exactly are the charges against you.
3. When you find out which evidences she has on hand, only begrudgingly confirm those she has evidence of. DENY EVERYTHING ELSE.
“Yes, we have been talking on the phone. Yes, I know it was wrong and I am very very sorry.”
“Yes, even when we met, swearing on the life of our child, NOTHING HAPPENED. We didn’t sleep together. All we did was meet, and that was it.”
“No, I didn’t give her any gifts. I actually was just joking with her, but to be honest, no gifts were exchanged.”
4. Admit you have a sex/porn addiction and admit that you need her to help you overcome it.
Every woman wants to “save” a man. Let your wife “save” you from your sins. Even offer to go to church to show sincerity to change.
5. Promise her that while you made a mistake, you realize just how important she and you family are to you, and that while you screwed up now, you will not do it again.
6. Check out if there’s any crack in her armor. When she starts to laugh or let you touch her, then you’re almost scott free.
When after confronting her, she allows you to touch and make love to her, all is forgiven. You have now escaped with nary a scratch.
7. Do not make the same idiotic mistake of getting caught. Either sincerely change to be a better man, or if you cannot, be better in hiding your affairs next time.
Love makes us idiots.
My friend did not want to admit that her husband was a cheater. As I’ve said, this is not the first time he’s cheated.
However, for the sake of the family, everything is swept under the rug. And all is forgiven.
It only took a few hours in an afternoon for the husband to make amends.
Now, do you think he’s really changed and stop cheating, or did he just try to save his sorry ass from his angry wife?
I really hope that it’s the former. Unfortunately, I think it is the latter.
What do you think?