Why we still don’t have our second kid?

Let me approach the elephant in the room — Bakit walang kasunod ang anak ko? 


In English, it means, “How come we have yet to have our second child?”

Our daughter is already 2 years old. We just recently celebrated her second birthday. How come I am not pregnant with the next one?

Here are the real and practical reasons:

1. We have a lot less sexy time since our daughter was born.

My daughter and I co-sleep since she was born. She is also exclusively breastfed. My daughter follows our schedule and sleeps late.

That’s why, we have less sexy time than when before daughter was born.

Before she was born, we could still schedule our time together. Now, we cannot anymore. We have to wait till she is asleep, and she sleeps very late.

That’s why, there’s no baby #2.

2. We have gotten older, a lot busier with work, and our body is not as good as it used to.

Blame husband on being lower energy. We work hard during the day and apart from daughter sleeping late, he is more tired during the night.

My body is not like what it’s used to,” he admitted. “Before, I could party the entire evening and still be awake the next day. Now, that’s no longer the case.”

There are times when I want to do it too, but I’m just so sleepy that I would doze off before our show is finished. So, we would just think, “There’s always another day, another time…”

That’s why, there’s no baby #2.

3. My baby might hurt my other baby.

My baby is breastfed and actively moves around. Just last night, she stepped on my tummy because she keeps on frolicking around the bed.

It hurts.

Wah, imagine what will happen if I was pregnant with another child? I would suffer a miscarriage if that happened

4. We are already happy with our child. The pressure of having a second child is a lot less than not having a child yet. 

Our baby brings so much joy that sometimes, it’s easier to forget that we need to make another. There is always the fear that maybe, the second child may not be as good as the first.

We do not want to not favor the second child just because she is a lesser performer than the first. No matter what you say, a parent will always favor one child over the other.

My husband is adamant, “Pea is my favorite,” he said. “Nobody is better than her.”

I personally have to favor our only child. So I do not honestly know how to deal with the second. It has always been my prayer that we will be blessed with a wonderful second child. But we also know that it depends on luck, and God’s blessing and wisdom. Sometimes, it’s scary to risk because you don’t really know what you’re going to get.

5. The real reason: God has yet to bless us with another.

Despite the lower frequency of sexy time, we are not using protection and we do still hope that I can get pregnant again. Anyway, I am nearing my 40s, and it’s better to have a second child sooner than later, IF we are still having one.

Alas, we have yet to be blessed with another one.

I was so disappointed the last time I had my period.

Oh so disappointed.

I didn’t think I would be THAT disappointed but I was.

So it’s not that we aren’t hoping. We would welcome another addition to the family, but there is yet another one. I am just not pregnant yet.

And I don’t know when I will get pregnant again despite our best hopes.

I know that husband and I should do more to ensure my next pregnancy but we are too tired and busy to make one. We are lucky when we find time to do so, and can only hope that I can conceive despite the lower frequency.

Anyway, these things are best left to God.

And that’s why we still do not have Baby# 2.




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