Reposted from my answer in Quora:
This advice has saved me from years of heartache: Always Mirror, Never Chase.
When I meet a guy, I always mirror his interest.
I wait for him to make the first move.
If he texts me, I don’t play hard to get. If I get a message, I give a decent reply.
There’s no playing games.
No waiting for hours before texting him back to show him I’m not desperate. No hee or haw when he asks me out on a date. If I am free, I say yes. Otherwise, it’s a no with a legit reason for saying no.
When guys know you’re honest, they appreciate that.
I don’t chase after a guy.
If he ghosts me after a date, it’s fine. I just shrug it off. When he texts me weeks later, I still reply. Until the time he ghosts me again, and then I stop replying.
This allows me to filter guys who are genuinely interested in me.
Guys who are interested keep on calling. Since they know I don’t play any games, they try to “get” me and block off my free time whenever they can. Apparently, my way of flirting is very refreshing so they keep coming back for more.
After a breakup, I don’t chase.
I used to chase and it was embarrassing. Not anymore.
After the breakup convo, I cry. In private. I go out with friends and keep my social media status calm and normal. Nobody knows how broken I am inside.
With the last guy I dated, I cried for four months.
He didn’t know. Nobody knew.
I was the sane girlfriend who didn’t go crazy after a breakup. Guys appreciate that. And I got to keep my dignity especially after I found out he had a third party on the side.
Keep it classy!
The two advice allowed me to date graciously without too much fuss. I always kept my eyes open and never really refused any date. I never assumed and just focused on having a good time.
Happily married now so guess it worked!
Regardless, I look at every single guy I dated as a happy experience, and I am so glad I can look back at my dating history and be proud that I never really did anything that I now regret.