Love Hacks: Who is the King Stefan in our Lives?

We are watching Maleficent and King Stefan’s betrayal really struck me.

King Stefan was Maleficent’s childhood friend and later betrayed her by sawing off her wings as proof of her death so he can be the king’s successor.

I realize that we have a lot of King Stefans in our life. People who are so close to us, but secretly try to harm us, belittle us, and give us awful advice. Sometimes, the people who delight in our misery are those who are closest to us.

A friend of mine is having relationship issues at the moment. She shares a beautiful daughter with her boyfriend and their relationship is plagued by trust issues.

To be fair, it’s the fault of the boyfriend as he did slip, and there was cheating involved. But even after he’s resolved to stop cheating and is trying to repair the relationship, people around her had been whispering that it’s time to bid adieu to the relationship.

Come home! Leave that jerk!” The father told her. The irony is he has cheated on her mother many times in the past.

Her friends tell her to leave him as well. They tell her he doesn’t love her since they’re not yet married even though they already have a kid.

All these ugly whispers has turned her into a paranoid, angry and unreasonable, which has caused her to fight unfairly and bitchily, causing them to have even more fights.

When they fight, she brings up the past over and over. All these King Stefans who talk to her and give her advice keep on reminding what a jerk he is, and why does she have no self respect in remaining with him all this time.

The truth is, she is in better hands with him than she is with her friends or her father.

Yes, he did cheat.

But if he has resolved to fix the cheating and vows not repeat it again. He is actually a pleasant and good man who entered into an insta-relationship with her after she got pregnant, and only got scared when the immense responsibility of being a insta-father became too big.

If she stuck with him, her and her baby will have a good life. He will provide for them and make sure that their daughter would be fed and clothed and studied well.

I think that sticking with him — provided that he will not cheat ever again — is the best decision for her and her daughter.

But so many whisperers in the midst.

So many people saying she should leave, but will actually not catch her when she falls. Sure, they will always be there for shoulder to cry on, but when push comes to shove, when money and constant support are needed, I’m sure they will fly away like flies dispersed.

Beware of the King Stefans in your life

It may seem as if they are there for your benefit. And will seem to be your pillar of support.

But they are only laway (saliva) friends.

They are there for you because of your misery but many do not have your long-term well being in mind. You are there for their guilty pleasure. At night, they wish to hear from you and wait for your latest Korean telenovela story. But such is the level of support you will get from them.

They will be happy when you are single. Because they too are single and miserable. They think all men are evil, and self sabotage their relationships even before they start.

The father wants you to come back to prove that you can’t keep a relationship just like he did. In an insane way, her failure in love makes him feel better that he’s protecting her, even though he too was a culprit to her pain.

Sometimes the friends whom we believe are true, are actually the biggest betrayers of all.

That’s why it’s important to always think for ourselves.

Yes, we should listen to friends’ advice. Sometimes they are wise but many times they are not. We should look at our own circumstances and make our decisions depending on the facts in front of us.

As they say, it’s our life. It’s our decisions that pave the way on what will our life be.

So since we are accountable to ourselves alone, and whatever we decide determines our lives, we have to think carefully before succumbing to the advice of the King Stefans in our life.

Because in the end, it’s our decision that will make and break us.

Not King Stefan. Not our father. But our own selves.

So it’s important we make the right decisions for ourselves.

Good luck, my friend. And I hope you make the right decisions in life and love.

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