Don’t Be Boastful When Mad

My husband screamed at me today.

Two days ago, he asked me to help him to transfer money overseas. My supplier gives me better rates than his, so he asked for my assistance, which I timely gave.

Today, his supplier said he received the money but he wants us to send the money to his personal account instead of the company account. It is a ridiculous request since he was the one who gave my husband the bank account details in the first place.

It is not our side’s fault that he asked us to transfer money to the wrong account.

However, it becomes my problem when he asked us if he could return the money back to us, and we transfer the money back again to the correct account.

As I’ve told you, it’s a mess. It’s a big hassle and a mess.

So of course, my supplier got upset on why they have to correct an unnecessary mess. I expressed the frustration back to the husband on why his supplier wants us to correct his mistake.

My husband then got mad at me for making a big deal out of the situation.

You wanted me to correct your supplier’s mistake and of course, I will make sure it’s done,” I said. “My supplier said this is the last time they will do it for us anymore. Of course, I am upset because it is MY relationship that is placed on jeopardy.”

My husband then got mad because he doesn’t understand why my supplier got mad on such a simple request. “I don’t think they will not serve you anymore because of this. I want to talk to them and ask them why they are making a big deal out of this.”

“Why? If we give them a million bucks of business, would they say no?” he arrogantly continued. “They are not the only supplier in town. I am quite happy to pay more and use other supplier if yours are making a big deal out of this.”

My husband is a lovely guy, but sometimes, he has no empathy. Technically, it’s his side that made the mistake, not mine.

He should be mad at HIS supplier, not at MY supplier.


And when a man gets mad, he starts to make boasts like this.

Why? Do we even have to use them?” he said. “I’m okay with paying Php 5,000 bucks or more to my more expensive supplier. Why do I have to use your supplier if that’s the case?!”

I’ve had enough.

My supplier gives us favorable rates and charges me less. Every single savings add up. They are fast and give me no trouble. I have been dealing with them for years.

If you want, then I’ll fend for myself!” he boasted. “I’ve been doing fine for years. Why do I need your supplier?”

Let me count the ways:

  1. Well, first, he only needs to email me the transfer request and it gets done the next day. He doesn’t have to do anything except to email me the instruction.
  2. The savings can get really big depending on the transfer amount.
  3. I actually advance the money instead of him paying in cash.
  4. He gives a blank check to the other supplier which is very risky. The blank check is deducted straight to the company account so if the blank check falls into the wrong hands, bye bye.

But heck, a man’s arrogance creates even more problems for him. Who am I to correct my husband? Let him do the work his way.

So let us learn from my husband: Take care of your words when you are mad.

Sure, you may feel that you have “won,”  but such victory is empty.

At the end of the day, instead of having someone else do the work at a favorable rate, you have to do it yourself.

I apologized to my supplier for the hassle and the relationship lives another day.

Husband on the other hand refuses to apologize to me after getting angry and telling me to shut up, and will now handle most of his transfers.

Who is the bigger loser?

I don’t think it’s me.

So watch your words when you are mad.

Sometimes, words that are said in a fit of anger can offer a lifetime of regret. And if husband can’t stop to watch his words, then he will find less and less people to help him when he needs it.

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