Do You Still Find the Opposite Sex Attractive While in a Loving Relationship?

I’m a Libra, with my birthday coming up next week.

Among the zodiac, Libras are known to be fun, playful and slightly flirtatious. We like to pretty ourselves a lot, and if unaware, you can always catch us checking ourselves out in the mirror.

I know, we are quite the narcissists.

Personally, I think I have so far taken good care of myself. I look around 5 years younger my actual age, still maintain a svelte figure thanks to limited rice and twice weekly gym and yoga regimen. I still do enjoy it when guys do check me out. I don’t think it’s a threat, and instead see it as a form of flattery.

I’ve always been this way.

When I was in Taipei, I’d wear my nicest outfits and dance the night away atop the bar at Carnegie’s. I loved going to Plush and Room 18, both the go-to places to be in then. If men talked to me, I would of course reply. No point to act rude or snobbish to someone who’s gathered up their courage to talk to you.

Don’t get me wrong though, I am fiercely loyal. 

I’d like to think my love of attention bears from a healthy sense of security and confidence. If you look good, why not flaunt it? If you don’t look that great, well, do something about it.

However, that doesn’t mean I cheat or sleep around, despite some offers here and there.

And whereas I may find the opposite sex attractive while in and out of a loving relationship, I do not veer away if I am in a loving relationship. As they say, I can always look, appreciate but don’t touch.

I remember when I was still dating ex-trader, I’ve only been tempted ONCE.

My MBA friends and I were in a chartered boat for a weekend get-away. We went out for some snorkeling, ate and had fun at the boat, took tons of pictures.


A classmate of mine brought his cousin, an out-of-town doctor who was in Hong Kong just for the holidays. He was somewhat tall, Asian, and in my opinion, quite handsome.

From the moment he saw me, he zeroed on to me. Everywhere I was, he was there.

Even if I was talking to other people, he would be right there by the side listening in. When we went snorkeling, he was always by my side. Obviously, it was clear that he was interested in me. And of course, I found that attention flattering.

What I didn’t mention though was that our sexual tension was quite thick. As if at any moment, if you had nary a care in the world, you could consider making out with him right then and there.

When we got back to the dorm, I bid my adieus, went back to my room, and pretty much stayed there. I lay on my bed, called up Trader and said my goodbyes, and tried to control myself (aka behaved) until the next day.

I felt a rush of relief when I heard Trader’s voice, as if he was the one to wake me up from my drunken stupor. A part of me regretted the opportunity cost of not taking advantage of the yummy situation, but an even significant part of me said this was not right. That this was not fair to my boyfriend, and following the golden rule, I wouldn’t want the same to happen to me as well if the roles were reverse.

Karma can and will always be a bitch.

The doctor cousin was already gone in the morning.

As I look back in the experience, I cannot help but wonder what it would’ve been like to at least make out with cousin doctor. Curiosity killed the cat, but this is the truth.

However, I’m glad I didn’t – I stayed true to my relationship despite the temptation I faced.

There will always be people you may feel undeniably attracted to. Maybe it’s how they look, they move or they dress, you are invariably drawn to them. That’s chemistry.

But when faced with a choice, you can either embrace that temptation or run away from it.

The choice comes down very simply: How much do you love your mate? 

My early gauge on what to do is: If you got caught, can you bear to lose him/her?

If you don’t mind losing him/her, then go ahead. Live life to the fullest. Enjoy.

But if you love him, you wouldn’t want to hurt him or lose him. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Personally, I wouldn’t want to sabotage my relationship just to sate my curiosity. It’s not fair to my partner, and I love him to death.

So there we go. Yes, it’s okay to find an opposite sex interesting while in a relationship. We are human after all. However, you still have a choice on whether to partake of that temptation or not.

I choose NOT to.

How about you?

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