Context: Ever since my dad passed away last February, my brother and I had been happy to invite and take my mom out for dinner, for movies, and elsewhere. This helps her avoid depression since my parents have always been together, day in and day out, up until my dad’s death. They have been married for 40 years.
Earlier this week, my brother’s girlfriend told my mom that they (her and my brother) have decided that they have set aside Mondays and Tuesdays for mommy time. So every Monday and Tuesday, they will spend it with mommy. Unfortunately, that also meant that the rest of the week, they can do whatever they please.
I sent brother the below email. Do you agree/disagree? And do you think I’m reading too much on their statement? Happy weekend!
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Dear Brother,
To be honest, I was shocked when (Girlfriend’s name) said the other day that both of you have decided to set aside your Mondays and Tuesdays for mommy. I’m sure it wasn’t your intention but what came out when we heard was that, out of the 7 days in a week, you and your girlfriend are “happy” to devote 2 days to mommy.
So what happened to the other five days? Does this mean that you are a son to her for the two days, but for the rest of the five, it’s up to her to keep busy? So love now is only 30% of the week? Does this mean that if mommy needs you in a day outside your Monday and Tuesday, we’ll have to take care of her because you and (Girlfriend’s name) will be busy elsewhere? What’s worse, what came out was that mommy should be happy that both you and (Girlfriend’s name) are making time for her out of your busy schedule, when it should actually be the other way around. Whoever made or thought of this rule of allocating whichever day you want to mommy without even consulting her didn’t think it about it too much…
Anyway, I would like to give you the benefit of a doubt that the plan just wasn’t thought out well, and you have no intention to start allocating time for mom. Personally, it’s always a pleasure to bring mom around. She is good company, and oftentimes, give timely and good advice. So whenever we can can, (Boyfriend) and I like taking her out for dinner and movie so long as there are no pending events like car club stuff or business meetings. We usually work in the evenings kasi e. I’ve always appreciated (Boyfriend) for being so game and welcoming for mom – he never complains and instead understands – kasi yun naman talaga ang dapat. I hope that (Girlfriend’s name) should be the same as well, otherwise, papaano na when you get married? Our family would even be more intertwined then. 🙂
Besides, with mom in our lives, helping us out at our company, mediating between us, etc. etc. etc, no amount of thanks or taking her out can ever justify the love that she has showered to us both. Spending time with her is a great start. On a more practical note, especially with mom’s age, eye condition, I hate her to drive around by herself. It’s just not safe.
Anyway, I’d leave this to you na lang. If you decide otherwise, that’s ok. But hope you can be open minded enough to at least read, pray and ponder on this advice. It’s not easy for me to write this, but I don’t want naman for me to keep on thinking how can my own brother allow such a thing, and I didn’t say anything about it.
Love love,
Bonita
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