Marriage Counseling before Engagement?

We went to the Mega 10 Most Beautiful People event at Haze last Thursday.

Mega 2

The place was relatively empty till around 9:30pm, but started filling in up until the start of the formalities at around 11:30pm.

It’s funny. The event itself, or at least the program, lasted for 20 minutes I think. The Editor in Chief Sari Yap gave a brief speech, the 10 Most Beautiful Women were introduced, and one of them sang two songs.


And there was that, the event was already over.

A little bit bitin if you ask me. But then again, who needs an excuse to party? 🙂

I was there with Boyfriend offering my support. His text later on: “Success without being able to share it with someone that you love is meaningless. I am so happy that it’s you, Bonita.”


Anyway, we are undergoing couples counseling together. Do you know that in the Philippines, couples are required to undergo six (6) hours of couples counseling before getting married.

And the answer is, NO, he hasn’t proposed. But my relatives and family are very concerned that I know exactly what I’m getting into, and have realistic expectations before marriage.

So, couples counseling it is.


I am just very lucky that he doesn’t really think it’s weird that I’ve suggested it, and is gamingly participating as well. Most guys would just think it’s hooey.

Personally, I am neutral to positive about it. For one, it’s nice to know. What hurt is it to actually go to counseling and get to know the other person better? At the very least, you guys can discuss the potential issues you may face as a couple and come to the relationship with a more open eye and mind.

Secondly, it’s fun. Our faciliators are trusted pastors in a church, and it’s kinda nice that you are not just accountable to each other, but to a third party. They try their best not to be judgemental and don’t dictate to you what is right and what is wrong.

And lastly, it creates self-awareness, not just of the other, but to yourself.

During our counseling session, our faciliator warned us that we both had strong personalities so it’s important that we are aware of each of our strengths and weaknesses. I couldn’t agree more. If both of us wouldn’t give in, then what will happen to us?

Admittedly though, it’s actually a bit embarrassing.

Who would go to marital counseling even before engagement?! 🙂

In a way, it’s presumptous to think that you will even get married to this person even before he proposes. What will happen then if something else happens and we broke up?

In addition, it pushes the guy to make a deeper commitment to you.

For example, the first question asked to Boyfriend when we had our first session last Tuesday was, “Where do you think this relationship is going?”

“Excuse me?” Boyfriend asked.

How serious are your intention towards Bonita?” the facilator repeated the question.

Hahaha, let someone who has no serious intentions towards you try to answer that!

Regardless, the experience has slowly brought us closer. We do have one more thing to discuss about, and we are starting to think of each other as a potential life partner, which is good.

Anyway, it’s in early days. We have just had our first session last Tuesday. Five more sessions to go!


About Tina

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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3 Responses to Marriage Counseling before Engagement?

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