I am working on a pretty big pet project at the moment.
It’s this project that makes me smile and drives me.
It will come to play in 2012, and I can’t wait to unveil it in the next few months. 🙂
However, despite the excitement, the project brings a lot of concern and trepidation.
Because though I am doing this with the moral support of the family, I am driving this project alone.
And though I want to act tough in front of others, I have to admit — the prospect of doing this alone scares me. The entirety of the project relies on my efforts and if I ever let go or give up, this project would fail.
I don’t want it to fail.
I need this to be successful.
For my sake.
I need this project to be successful to justify my upcoming homecoming.
To rationalize my life changes.
To make my transition smoother.
I am doing this for me, and for goodness, I will not fail.
But it’s not easy. Doing things alone is tough. So I need to be strong.
But I cannot… not truly.
As a person, I need someone to remind me that I can do it.
As a woman, I need someone to console me that they will love me and think no less of me even if this business fails.
As a classmate, I need expert advise on how to go about this.
As a partner, I need someone I can trust.
As a daughter, I need my parents to tell me that they will back me up no matter what.
As a sister, I need my brother to prop me up when I start having doubts.
Yes, I need people.
And I need to be strong.
Starting right now.