I’ve just updated my Facebook Profile to say “In a relationship with Trader” last week.
Inevitably, congratulations poured in from those who knew us back in college, to good friends in Hong Kong who were happy to see that the cat was finally out of the bag.
This is the first time that I’ve already declared to the world (or at least in my friend’s list) that I’m happily unavailable. Whereas before, my status was Single, and then when I hooked up with my last ex, my status read: “Bonita is no longer single.”
However, I’ve never publicly acknowledged I was seeing someone, more so indicating which of the lucky chaps I’m currently dating. Trader is the first, and though I didn’t really rush to change my status as soon as became official (I wanted to wait before my parents knew — it would suck if they found out via another relative who’s in my Facebook profile), I knew that Trader was more than happy to change his.
Actually, as soon as became official, he consequently called his good friends and his parents back in the Philippines. “Kami na ni Bonita (Bonita and I started dating),” he happily announced on the phone.
I tread into relationships with a bit of trepidation. Historically, my relationships don’t really last that long and after the initial burst of passion, it dies down pretty quickly as well. How many times had I enjoyed the attention of an ardent suitor, only to lose it after he “gets” me?
I am reminded by a friend of mine who started her own long distance rleationship right around the same time as mine. She wrote me this afternoon:
“As for my guy, I feel that the relationship is less serious these days because the effort to call and keep the lines of communication have started to drag out… from a few times a day to once a day. And now to just every other day (the fact that he’s been in France for a while). Is it me who needs to be on my toes?”
Sister, been there, done that — tell me about it. 🙁
But Trader has been steady Eddie so far, keeping communication lines open every single day. I write back:
“I’m sorry my dear. Usually, a woman’s intuition is almost always right. Hope that history doesn’t really play a part but that’s what happened with me and the Ex. We started with him calling, SMSing and emailing me at least five times every day, but later on, it petered out to around 2 to 3 times a week if I’m lucky. Afterwards, he stopped calling and I stopped calling. And I lived happily ever after with a guy who continues to call ever after he gets me.”
The funny thing is, with Trader, I don’t need to ask. He does it just because according to him, he’s all in. He’s prety much decided that he’s in it for the long run. And yes, it’s very nice when I don’t have to second guess whether he likes me or not.
Then again, he’s different. Most of my guy friends aren’t like him. Many of my girl friends wonder. And that works too. But then again, things may still change? So long as your guy still calls every other day despite being in France (do note time difference), there’s no harm in seeing where it goes and just going for the ride. :)”
I hope that I’m wrong — I just think that guys are pretty transparent. If they like you, they miss you and because they think of you all the time, they call you a lot. When they don’t like you as much, other priorities do come into play and you don’t hear from them as much.
My baby seems to be different. Even when he has a bad day, he still calls to say hi, albeit with a sadder tone. But at least, he’s there, right?
Anyway baby, am very very lucky and proud to be with you. I don’t think we deserve congratulations because we found each other. Rather, we deserve congratulations for finding a good decent one.
Here’s to our second month anniversary.
I love you darling!
And I don’t care if other people know about it. 🙂