Trader treats me like gold and makes it seem as if HE’D won a million bucks.
“Every day I wake up feeling very happy that you’re with me,” he SMSd me this morning. “Here’s your good morning hug! Have a great day at work!”
I ask him about unconditional love and whether it really existed. Most of the guys I’ve dated unfortunately start off really fast and passionate, fizzling out later on. “What if that light switch suddenly turned off? Of course, it’s easy to treat me well if the light switch is on. It’s when the light switch is off and the relationship is tough when it becomes hard to love someone,” I accused him.
Yes, my ex-boyfriends had scarred me somewhat. You see, all the guys I’ve dated were men that any girl would be jealous about. They were sporty, all-around decent men, quite successful and eloquent. They were great on paper, but somehow, something happened and I get the “It’s not you, it’s me” speech.
Ironically, it’s Traders greatest fear that I’d leave him behind. “I’m always the one left behind,” he said. “So when you get the second chance to really get something you want, you savor it to the utmost.”
I think the fear is too premature. It’s too early to tell indeed, but given Trader, he’s done a SWOT analysis before he even decided to pursue me.
“That’s the greatest risk,” he sadly said last night. “When your future beckons, can you really say no to the opportunity instead of being with me?”
Personally, there’s always Plan A (what I want), Plan B (what he wants) and Plan C (what we want).
Life is about negotiations and starting to date someone means that you have to keep that person in tune with your plans. Of course, who knows about the future, but we cannot keep on stagnating our lives just because we’re waiting for guarantees when there’s no guarantees.
Till then however, Trader spoils and pampers me.
The downside is that it’s a long-distance relationship as he’s based in Singapore.
The upside is that he’s really really into me (in a way that I myself cannot believe). “We’ve had 8 years of history and we knew each other back then as friends,” he always says. You see, we went to the same college together but nothing happened then save for the fact that we’re good friends. “I think you’re the best girl ever for me. So when I have you, I’ll never want to let you go.”
On my insecurities based on my past experience (do note that this has nothing to do with him – he’s wonderful), we’ll just have to see how things go. Only time can tell.
But till then, am enjoying every moment of it. He’s flying to Hong Kong this weekend just because, and will take me out on a real date this Friday. Am looking forward to it.
It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a date with a guy am into! It should be mighty fun.
So gotta get my work done. 😀
Here’s to new beginnings and history as we write it. Enjoy the rest of the week!