I haven’t been having a good two days.

First, there’s a lot of screw-ups the past few days, with one big screwed up event snowballing into one big catastrophe.

That’s the problem with new initiatives — when you help build up an idea and it becomes a success, the stakes are a lot higher and you put your neck out a little bit further out from your comfort zone.

As a result, you fall harder, and the risks are higher.

A past couple of weeks ago, I’ve helped suggest a new initiative which was held as a “Best Practice” event in my firm. It was a series of events and the first session was hailed as a great success!

The second session fell apart.

There was some miscommunication in my part and the other party, and though the project itself went well, it created some bad vibes between the two parties. As a result, chocolates and flowers were then sent, heartfelt apologies were made, and Raven feels like total crap and wants to bury her head down to the ground and stay there forever.

I felt like total sh*t.

Actually, everyone feels like sh*t, but none more than me.

The problem of course snowballed, because as Murphy’s Law dictates, if anything needs to go wrong, it WILL go wrong… so it did. My colleagues got caught up in the mess, and I feel even shittier.

Great. I can go and die now.

Anyway, point is, it hasn’t been a great few days.

I’ve already talked to a few good friends and trying to console myself out of the muck. Their words, “Sh*t happens. People always make mistakes and you can’t expect work to be perfect. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to learn from it, move on and just ensure it doesn’t happen again.”

But still, doesn’t make you feel better… and yes, I do take accountability for my actions. I covered my backside enough, but once again, at work, one should take no chances. To avoid any surprises, it always pays to double check, triple check and just check, check, check.

I am surprised my boss has yet to kick me off the curb. It’s surprising how fickle work can be. One day, you’re their darling and super star, and the next day, you’re the black sheep.

Sigh… things will be better though. Life moves on, and yes, I may be making more than it really is. The mistake was serious, but it’s not life threatening. The important thing is to brush off the dirt, stand up and trudge on forward… hopefully being older and wiser.

I’ve learned my lesson when I made a different mistake 18 months ago when I first started work and has been kicking ass the rest of the time. I should learn again from this mistake and not take “should haves” for granted, especially with work.

It is a lonely time though… there’s really nobody I can talk to about this, and my only medium to release my tension is by writing in this blog. The corporate ladder is indeed vicious, and I’ve learned that business relationships are fickle. It takes months to build up a relationship, an hour to break it down.

But things happen… shit happens. All you can do is to just do your best and try not to fuck up again in the future.

And yes, I know I know… please, no more torture. I’ve already been seriously reprimanded and I already know my mistake. I am completely humbled. Please, don’t beat on the dead horse… it’s already dead.

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People don’t change btw. I realized that.

I’ve also realized that I am a tad more generous than a few people. Today, I treated my friend who is leaving for the US to study to dinner. It cost me a bit, but I was happy to do it.

It’s not everyday that you get to treat your friend out, you know.

Then again, some people are a lot more careful with their money. For example, they will only pay for their own share and most likely, not treat you to dinner or lunch. Just because it’s not their nature to do so.

Now, am not condoning these people nor am I saying they’re cheapskates.

However, I may have been spoiled in being treated out, and treating others that I take it for granted that other people are also like me.

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I bumped into a guy I went out with a few times today.

It’s funny — he said he’s been traveling around to India and Singapore and hasn’t visited Taiwan so he hasn’t really gotten ahold of me.

No matter, when a guy is really interested, he’ll be in contact no matter which country he’s been in. And it takes two to tango, I haven’t really been crying any tears that he hasn’t been calling.

If a guy calls, great. If not, that’s okay too. Am way too busy to be bothered anyway. Studying already takes too much of my time.

What I am happier though is that I’ll probably see him at a party tomorrow, and I’ll be wearing this nice cocktail dress. I should look really, really hot (so long as I suck in the flab).

Ah, sweet revenge!

Hahahaha, so evil yeh. But seriously, no biggie. Just go with the flow and survive.

Btw, I’m going to write a review about the Shida night market soon. It should be a comprehensive guide and am quite excited. I’ll try to find the time to write it down when I can.

Anyway, going to sleep now. Bizzy day tomorrow!

Nighty!