These days, I feel a bit of regret about my failed relationship. But what’s over is over. I can’t redo what’s already happened.
Fortunately, it is a big wake up call.
I’ve been so full of myself the last couple of months, forcing myself to be stronger than I really am, more competent than I should be. Maybe it’s because the MBA has placed me in a position where I became the finance expert in a batch of career changers. Maybe it’s just being stubborn.
Bottomline is, it’s not the natural me and I need to change my weaknesses. I won’t be high up in my pedestal to say I’m innocent of all charges given to me. However, I’d like to think I’m misunderstood and I can change if I think it’s right.
“But you are who you are?!” my friend who was dressed as a cute sumo at yesterday’s party told me yesterday. “Shouldn’t people just love and accept you for who you are?!”
Agreed – I think it’s important to have self-love and self-esteem.
However, I also equally believe that people are human. We fail too and we need to be better and improve if we are mistaken. Personally, I can be a bit too demanding with the people around me. I give them 100% and expect them to do the same. From a career perspective, that’s good, but some people can’t take it and I must make compromises before it’s too late.
Regardless, the main point is, I think there is much to improve within myself and I’m taking concrete steps to do so. Please note that I am not doing this to take Trader back as I’ve already fully accepted that we are over, but I am doing this to myself.
Because I want to be better.
To be the best person I can be.
And it’s only then that we can find people who can truly love us for the real us. the best part in us.
In other words, my next boyfriend would be one lucky bastard. 🙂
Anyway, the life changing decision I’m taking about will blow people’s minds. Haha, I love surprising people but let me give you a hint. Everything you know about me to this day points that I am heading towards one direction.
I will be changing this decision within a quarter. Maybe within February.
And even though my risk averse mom is so scared for my well-being as she wants me to stay within the status quo, in my heart, I know that what I’m doing is right.
It’s almost time.
No more dilly dallying about it.
And even though my mom, Trader and everyone else may not be supportive because they think it’s crazy, I think this is becoming the right life decision for me.
I love you all. Thank you for all your support the last couple of years. You cannot imagine just how grateful I am for all your comments, love and encouragement.
The most amazing thing is, it’s going to get better.
I love you!