Guilt-tripped

Since I’ve resigned, I naturally found my motivation lost. Why work more and exert yourself if you’re not even getting a piece of that bonus pool? To top it off, I find the work conditions tough to accept.

1 month, 2 weeks more to go – gosh, how long are these weeks?!

And because my boss has asked me to keep my resignation confidential, I’ve realised that I’ve buried myself to the grave. Because I’ve resigned, I am obliged to work and do my duties but not kill myself doing so.

Since I have tried to kill myself doing the best of my abilities before, people find my behavior unusual. Suddenly, leaving at 7pm becomes a sin and I’m guilt-tripped that I am not a hard worker than I once was.

I am very angry at this.

My work has never been anything but impeccable. Actually, I take great pride with my work and the ability to multi-task challenging projects and pull them off at tight deadlines.

To say the contrary — that I am not as hardworking as before, that I have lost my energy — makes me mad.

This is what a person who’s resigned acts! They do the work but don’t kill themselves.

I am very much aware of every deadline there is, so find it weird that everyone is at a mad rush to get things done. I can prioritize accordingly. Trust my work, as you’ve always had.

2 more weeks till the truth comes out. Then you’ll know why.

Till then, I’ll shut my mouth and face the consequences of my silence.

Damnit.

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