…and I don’t really know why.

Do you have these days?

Guess it’s because Trader was really tired and he let it slip out that though he wasn’t ready to get married right now. Actually, what he meant was today but goodness if it could be anytime forever.

He did mention a timeline – two years or so, or whenever he can be able to support my luxurious lifestyle.

Total bullshit man. If a guy ever mentions finances as a reason on why he cannot get married, then that’s just bullshit.

Then again, I’m turning 30 this year, so maybe I don’t really look forward to waiting till I’m darn 32 or something before I even walk the aisle.

Sigh, I think it’s just that I got so into the idea of marriage, am turning into Bridezilla even without the proposal. The main solution is to just take it easy and distance myself from the mess.

I need to learn how to balance. Am totally imbalanced right now.

At present, I don’t even fucking care if I get married to Trader or not. I’m still young – I can still find someone else.

Someone who wouldn’t want me to be a stay-at-home mom.

Someone who doesn’t care on whether I can cook or take care of the house.

Someone who doesn’t listen to his parents too much, or don’t even care what his parents think.

Someone who believes my assets are actually strengths instead of weaknesses. I have enough of men thinking that my independence is a source of trouble than a source of pride.

Someone who will be happy that I take my MBA overseas instead of Asia because that meant that I was aiming for higher.

I think I’m going to be single for life, people.

It’s okay, then again – that’s not really a bad thing.