“Clothes make the man,” a famous saying once said. “And it’s true, people judge us from what we wear.”
People who know me see that I dress a tad sexier than other women especially in the weekends.
To be honest, a quarter of my life in controlled bondage from a super-conservative upbringing meant that from the moment I moved to Taiwan, I reveled in the freedom to wear whatever I want however I wanted to. Hence, that also meant wearing a slew of halter tops, tank tops, shorts and high heels that most women wouldn’t dare wear without a cardigan/jacket to cover themselves up.
For example, I would totally wear this — and may actually have this in off-white:
I like styles that are V-necked and are tight from the waist. Never felt that the shapeless baby bib style was quite nice and felt that women should accentuate their bodies, not hide them. I adore dresses and have one for almost every occassion, and whereas women loved to hide their bodies, I loved clothes that I feel look good on me. Here’s another playful number that I will totally wear, and actually have one in light greent hat I’d wear on weekends:
Another samples are as follows — and yes, I’d worn something similar to this before, and they look great in high heels and a shawl:
Or this pretty number a variation of which I have bought from the Philippines. Magenta and black, with a lacy petticoat and quite nice to wear on cocktails:
My good friend who worked in fashion thinks that I have good fashion sense. “Bonita, it’s quite rare to find women here who have decent fashion sense. Overall, yours is pretty good.”
However, I enjoyed my own share of critics as well.
“You are attractive, yes. Very pretty in fact,” my friend told me today. “But what about if you made a few guys uncomfortable given that they came from more conservative backgrounds?”
The irony is this — whereas people think that I’m wearing the clothes I wear to get attention (and negative ones as that as most of the guys who they say would chase after me would only want one thing), I actually wear them because I like looking good and feel that I do.
For many years under my dad’s careful watch, I’ve made ultra-conservative fashion choices (think t-shirt and jeans) and I feel as if I’m not wearing to my potential. Sure, there were a few nice pieces, but over and about, I don’t like them as much as they looked boring and so not me.
Hence, now that I can make that decision, I milk it for all its worth! And you know what, I am happy with how I dress in the weekends!
Personally speaking, this is my view — at work hours, I will wear whatever is allowed by the dress code. Meaning, I ill wear my suit and black slacks and boring black pumps. I will stay covered up and in general remain decent in my interactions with clients.
However, when it comes to my weekends and my free time without seeing clients, I can damn well dress whatever I may please. If that bothers some people (and I cannot be blamed for their ultra-conservative views which I respect that they have but not necessarily need to adhere to), well then tough. It’s not really my choice to hang out with me. They can always choose to spend time with someone else!
In a way, clothes had become my way of filtering out the people I won’t really get along with.
For example, I love open-minded people. They don’t need to be well-travelled or agree with what I say. We don’t have to have the same bodies or dress the same as well. However, what I love about open minded people is that they try as much as they can to keep an open view and to not box you to a stereotype. Meaning, though they have an impression of you, it’s not the end-all-be-all and they realize that there is more to a person than a generalization.
Hence, those who are more apt to judge my less conservative fashion sense would have less of the inclination to hang out with me, a seemingly “loose” woman with more values than most of the people you know.
“What can I say?” I had said a couple of times before. “Sometimes I feel that I false advertise, but heck, if people cannot really be bothered to get to know you better, then that’s fine. They’re not the type of people I’d love to hang out with in the first place.”
Those who won’t like me won’t really like me in the future anyway. So why spend so much time worrying about what others think of you? Instead, it may be more worthwhile to actually stop thinking and just forge through life being yourself, and let the cards fall as they may.
Now the company pays me to look good and serve clients and yes, I do adher to their dress codes. But my weekends are my me time and knowing that I am not stupid, I think I am old enough to make judgement calls of what I think are right.
So judge me if you wish. I did notice that I have a tendency to polarize people — it’s either people really like me, or don’t. In a way, my life is as open as my blog. Either readers would think well of me, or they’d totally think I’m a bimbotic idiot who just can’t shut up (though if that’s the case, maybe you should revisit your clicks and stop reading my blog!). Your call.
I cannot change people, and I damn well will not change myself to suit everyone else. Otherwise, I would be the dog who keeps on runing after a car and not really catching it. Life would be too miserable worrying about what others think of you.
Therefore, this is me. Conservative or not-so conservative. You be the judge.
And if in any case that makes you not like me, then so be it. I’ve always believed in auto-filterting processes. In the end, you will hang out with people who reinforce your beliefs so what’s the point of trying to make them or you change their minds?
So let’s agree to disagree. This is me, Bonita. And wishing you a great week ahead!