* I wrote this last September 28, 2005 — one of the hardest days ever — and just posting it now because I’m too lazy and brain dead to write a new entry. Hopefully, it can shed some light on how I feel about being totally out of control of a situation at that time, and totally helpless in doing something about it. It takes me a while to get really mad, but when I do, I remember.
Have a great day.
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I am mad…
I am mad because I am being judged…
I am mad because it is the people who do not know me, judge me…
I am mad because these judgments are based from stereotypes, instead of my own character and being…
I am mad because I am not being defended from these judgments…
I am mad because I am not given the chance to defend myself…
I am mad because these judgments are slowly changing the way you feel about me…
I am mad because these judgments bother you, tie your stomach to knots and stress you out…
I am mad because I cannot help you deal with this…
I am mad because you are willing to give up something beautiful because you are embarrassed…
I am mad because I know we have nothing to be ashamed of…
I am mad because ultimately, there’s really nothing I can do about it…
I am mad because you want me to settle for something else…
I am mad because I’d probably give it to you…
I do not get mad easily. But when things are unfair, I cannot help but be mad.
Hopefully though, you can realize that there are things beyond our control. But we can deal with them.
Together.
Please don’t give up. I think ours is something worth fighting for…
Be strong.
raven’s crowing in full effect, ladies and gents!
o sige, don’t be mad na. ok? 😀
Haha, thanks for cheering me up Chekwa. This post has been made months ago, and I can never stay mad for long… 🙂