*Written on July 7th.
What can you do to stop an inevitable event?
You know it’s going to happen soon… you know it’s none of your business… and there’s really nothing you can do but stand back and watch the scenes come into place.
What the heck am I talking about?
Am talking about an impending breakup by a good guy friend and his girlfriend of one year.
Entirely none of my business, mind you.
But I still feel sad nevertheless.
My guy friend has been wanting to breakup with his girl for almost a month. And since she’s kinda moved in to his place, he’s even thinking on how to give her back her stuff. Except for the plates — they’re hers but he’d like to keep it.
“Those are good plates!” he said.
But it’s sad.
I think the girl knows as well. And since she loves him, she’s trying her best to keep him.
But she’s fighting a losing battle.
A week or two ago, they had a small fight. During the argument, the girl started to say something along the lines of, “Let’s breakup then!” but immediately took it back. The guy took offense and told her not to say anything she doesn’t mean. He then shut down the phone, playing computer games afterwards to cool off. The girl panicked so much that she sped to the guy’s house, slammed on his door at 4AM and cried for him to forgive her. She wouldn’t believe him and begged him to stay with her.
It’s sad to see a headstrong woman beg and cry. But love makes us do stupid things. I really feel sorry for her.
She’s a nice girl.
I think the slighted party usually knows if the breakup is coming.
The guy’s behavior changes, naturally.
For example, it kinda breaks my heart to see the guy talk to his girlfriend on the cellphone. No offense, but this is not how you talk to a woman you love.
One conversation included asking the girl not to join him in a bowling activity. He said he just wanted to spend more time with his classmates, and her being there is merely an inconvenience.
True, when your girlfriend is there, you’d have to make sure she’s having a great time. You cannot not notice her.
But guess what? When you really care about a person, you don’t mind the inconvenience. In fact, you’d like her to be beside you all the time. It’s called sharing your life with the other. You’d want that person to share your life and know your friends.
It’s when you want to shut her out of your life that shows your relationship’s already in the rocks…
Which is actually the case here…
“XXXX, don’t get me wrong, I care for her… but I don’t love her anymore,” my guy friend explained. “She’s a nice girl, but I don’t see her anywhere in the future… and truthfully, I’m just wasting her time.”
Truth hurts like hell, doesn’t it?
The girlfriend seems to know it as well.
How can you not feel it?
Personally, if you feel that you’re about to breakup, preempt it and breakup with him already. Stop torturing yourself! See Breakup Season? on my stand on the right time to breakup with someone.
But stupidly, we hold on in the hopes that things will change…
Sadly, it usually never does.
Last weekend, we watched “War of the World.” It was her birthday, but she looked quite sad. While the guys were getting popcorn and we were in the bathroom, she forlornly made a comment in Chinese…
“Why is it that men, while they’re chasing after us… pursue us so fervently?” she sadly asked. She seemed to talk to me, but actually, she was just thinking out loud. “But afterwards, they don’t care about us anymore. They’re like light switches. They can just switch off their feelings — just like that.”
“But women…” she continued. “We are wary of the men at first. But after we fall for them, we cannot control how we feel anymore. And it hurts. It hurts so bad.”
A very honest, truthful… yet painful statement.
Sometimes, you ask why you still stay?
For weeks, my guy friend has been figuring out a way on how to breakup with his girlfriend.
I told him to just be a man and do it.
“But she’ll cry and wail and beg… and I can’t bear to see her do that!” he insisted.
Sorry buddy. You wanna break up with her, you gotta be ready for the consequences. Tears and shouts included.
That’s why, he’s been thinking of a good way to breakup with her.
“It would be nice if we had a big argument and breakup,” he said. “Then, there’s a reason for the breakup.”
But he’s stalling… I must admit too, his timing sucks.
Last weekend was her birthday, and the day after that, a big-ass test that would determine the fate of the rest of her life. Next weekend, they were planning to go to Hualien. She’s been planning this for months, and he can’t find the heart to breakup with her before.
I told him straight. It doesn’t matter HOW you do it.
Just do it.
Just rip off the bandage.
Super-duper painful, but very effective in helping you move on.
Dragging it out hurts more in the long-run.
So just rip off the bandage.
How about you guys? If you’d want to breakup with your significant other, how would you do it? Details please like, where, when, and what reason will you give? Tell me, in your experience, what’s the best way? Or if a guy/girl was to breakup with you, how would you prefer it?