Just got a call from Mike-Vibe today — long-distance from California.

Not really surprised since he’s been emailing me saying that he’d call. He said he misses me a lot, and that calling is much more personal.

Sounds like bullsh*t, but at the same time… it sounds serious.

No guy, and a Caucasian guy at that, would call a girl long-distance if he’s not serious.

I was still caught off-guard though.

It’s nothing when a guy says he’ll call. It’s something though when he REALLY calls you up!

You know the feeling, you’ve expected it… and yet, you’re not ready for it when it happens.

Suddenly, everything becomes real.

Funny thing is, I’m just not that into him.

Which, of course, has launched me in a panic.

What should I do?

If I’m not that into him, should I just shut the door closed and tell him the truth?

Or shall I enjoy the moment, considering he’s in California anyway? And since he’s made no mention of going back to Taiwan, I could just enjoy the attention. What harm would it cause anyway?

But I feel guilty. I feel as if I should just tell him not to email or call me anymore because I’m not that interested in him. But a selfish part of me would also want to enjoy this moment for all its worth. Who knows? Maybe I can make a friend out of him…

But who am I fooling really?

Is it possible to keep your options open and not hurt anyone?

That’s scary though… he called me when I was at work, and so I told him to call me after I get off work. But since there’s a 15-hour difference, he’d have to wake up earlier. Hence, he said, he’ll just set his alarm clock earlier and wake up early in the morning so he can talk to me.

Sh*t! What if he’s really serious about me?!

Geez… when you don’t have anyone, you’d want one. But when you have one, you’re dreading their calls.

WHAT IS FREAKING WRONG WITH ME?!