This is repost from the Internet, but translated to English by me.
I have an tita, or auntie who is is 46 years old.
She has no boyfriend, husband or kids. However, despite her lack of a boyfriend, husband or children, she has a stable job, a 2-storey house, fancy cars and thriving businesses since she comes from a family of money.
She’s more than an aunt to me. She is also my best friend.
Last night, while having shots of tequila, we had the most sincere talks with her. I asked her, “Mommyow, why did you never ever gotten married?”
She laughed and hit my head lightly.
The next thing I saw though, was to see her tears fall from her face.
“When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend. He courted me for 3 years. We were happy until we both finished college. We dreamt of babies, a house, travel and kids, but as we grew older, I realized I wanted more than he could ever give me,” she shared.
“I thought with him, I was getting less than I deserved,” my tita explained. “I was already an architect at that time, while he had to take the board exam twice and never passed. I felt bad seeing him with unstable jobs. I saw him working early in the morning and going home at night. When I looked at him, I saw him struggling through life with much difficulty.”
“It came to the point that I got tired of waiting for him to reach his success, so I left him,” she continued. “I do not know why I did that. I was only thinking of my own self.”
My aunt shared that even though her boyfriend at that time was so busy, he still managed to bring her food and flowers, and wrote her love letters that she only appreciated today.
“I was blinded with the saying, ‘If you are not happy, LEAVE,” she said.
“But I was so wrong,” she surmised. “I let him wait for me outside the office even though it was raining. And even though it was too hot, he patiently waited to talk to me and accompanied me home so I can be safe and secure.”
The boyfriend patiently allowed her to throw things at him when she lost her temper. When he lost his job once again, she did not get back together with him anymore.
And when she saw him drunk at a beer house with his friends, she was so ashamed because her friends teased her that this guy was not up to her standard.
“I wondered why I even got together with him,” she shared. “I felt that all my love was gone because he did not reach his potential. He was not successful.”
“This was one of the biggest mistakes in my life.”
The aunt shared that she tried to look for love elsewhere.
However, it did not work out. The guy’s family did not like her. So in an effort to keep their relationship, she hid her relationship with the second guy. Booze and night life became the norm, and she became happy for the short term.
“I thought that every time he would pick me up on his nice car, brought me to nice restaurants, that was already his best,” she admitted. “Until one day, he ghosted me.”
She went to his house, but he did not even let her in from the gate.
“I shouted and screamed from the gate for him to let me in, but nobody paid attention to me,” the auntie said. “I went home crying. I tried to call him but all my calls came out unanswered.”
She heard from a common friend that the boyfriend was going to get married to someone else.
Someone whom his parents wanted.
Her heart breaking into pieces, the woman regretted leaving the man who loved her so much in lieu of a man who threw her away.
I did not realize that my tita experienced such heartbreak in her life. When I saw her, we would always laugh and have a good time. It’s only today that I saw my tita cry.
She placed her head on her shoulder while sobbing.
Then, I asked her, “What happened to your first love?”
“He’s now very happy,” she replied as tears continued to fall from her face.
She admitted she did not go home when she was still with her bad boyfriend Harry. They were living together, but she left that apartment when he abandoned her. Her parents were very upset that she did not go home, did not text, and the only news they had of her was her telling her sibling that she was okay.
After several months of not being home, she went home.
She regretted all her decisions. And she asked about Isaiah, her first love.
Her mother told her that Isaiah, her first love, has already left for Switzerland. There was a good job offer and he took it.
Her aunt became crazy upon hearing that news. She did not even say goodbye, and she realized just how stupid she was.
When she left her home, Isaiah still visited her family. He would come everyday, wait for her , tidied up her room, cleaned the house, and cooked her favorite food in the hopes that she would come home.
But she did not come home.
“I wanted to die when I found out what he did,” she cried. “I felt I was useless and it was only Isaiah whom I loved. Only him.”
Her aunt stayed at home and did not eat well. She quit her job, and changed her friends. She stopped seeing friends who said bad things about her first love, and started talking to her friends back in high school whom she has forgotten to keep in touch with after she became an architect. Her old friends reminded her of Isaiah and comforted her.
Her old friends shared that when she left Isaiah, he was miserable. He returned to his old vices, and he sold the land that was supposed to be where they would have built their first home. It was when she heard the stories that she felt much regret on what she has done to her first love.
Isaiah’s luck turned when his father invited him to go to Switzerland for better opportunities. His father has invited him many times, but he never went because he did not want to leave the tita. He sacrificed all to be with her, and yet, she still found somebody else.
“Since that time, I waited every day for Isaiah. Seven years passed, I still hoped. Until one day, I received a letter. That was in the 1990s.”
She knew the letter was from Isaiah. Her heart burst and she went to her room, locked the door and read his letter to her. The letter said, it was from Geneva Switzerland.
This was what the letter read:
To my ever dearest Luna,
I missed you so bad. I’m sorry we did not see each other when I left. I am sorry if at that time, you were not proud of me. I am sorry if I only gave you shame, and I’m sorry if I gave up on us. I knew that Harry gave you everything I could not, so even though it hurt me so, I let you live your life.
I love you so much, Luna.
I am sorry if I did not reach my dreams immediately, unlike you who most likely are very successful now.
I’m now in Switzerland working for a big firm and I am now an engineer. Through the years, I was promoted to head engineer. All I had become today is because of you. If you did not replace me for somebody else, I would never have been jolted awake and tried to find my own self-worth. If you did not leave me, I would have remained the same. And if you did not throw me away, I would never have reached my highest potential.
I became strong because of you. I visited Beijing, Beijing, Bangalore, Russia, Germany, Paris, Dubai, California, Hawaii, Japan, Korea and Vatican.
All of these places are your dreams, so I promised myself that I would see them to know why you would love to visit them.
And I did Luna, I did everything.
It’s been 7 years and 8 months since I left the Philippines.
How about you?
How are you doing?
You are still in my heart but it is not enough for me to disturb you, knowing how happy you are with me good.
Luna, I am getting married next month. Her name is Roselle.
Roselle was there at my darkest, when I was a failure to all, and when nobody believed me, she was there to help me. Roselle made me feel special in every way she could. She loved me when I had nothing. She believed in me when I can’t even believe in myself.
She saw the mess in me but still loves me anyway. I do not even deserve this kind of love because I thought of myself as trash. But her? She saw not what I had. She did not leave me even though I myself was surrendering.
Luna, thank you for everything. If not for you, I don’t think I would have ever found myself. This will be my last letter. Thank you Luna. I wish you all the best in life.
My best architect!
“That’s why Belle, you should find a guy who would love you the most. Not because he can give you everything. But find a man who truly has nothing but will sacrifice everything for you.
My Life is a lesson. I hope you’ll learn something.
The tita related that Isaiah did not know that she never got married, and stopped being an architect. He does not know that she is unhappy.
“When people ask me why I never married, I always laugh and say, ‘I don’t know.'” she related. “The real reason is that I never forgot my true love. I will not wait for him, but he is my one true love and I love him until today even though years has passed.”
Isaiah is now just her Facebook friends, and he is happily married with three kids.
“It would have been me if only I waited.”
“But it’s okay, the most important thing is that he is happy. Even though it is not me, he is with the right person who is making him happy.”
I slept at my tita’s room since it was already 3:30 am then.
Wherever Mr. Isaiah is right now, I hope you remember my Aunt Luna, because she never ceased to love you, everyday.
NDMU COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING, 2015