The doctor called it a “missed abortion.”

I started spotting last Friday. It continued on Saturday. And I finally saw my OB today.

She asked me to do a pelvic ultrasound.

Petrified, we went this afternoon.

The result.

Our baby is dead.

It should have been 14 weeks old.

The ultrasound said the size of our baby was 10 weeks, 6 days.

Apparently, it has been dead inside me the last 3 weeks.

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“Why did it die?” I asked. I think I shed a tear. This is a good time to be philosophical.

There was no heart beat.

“The embryo just wasn’t viable,” the OB at the ultrasound clinic said. “Maybe there was a defect, or there was something wrong with the sperm and egg.”

We don’t know whether we should be happy or sad: We lost a baby.

It’s highly possible that the baby just wasn’t strong enough.

Maybe it was defective and the Lord just willed it to stop living.

If the baby wasn’t strong, would you still have willed it to live? Or was it just better for it to die this way.

I don’t know what happened, but this came out of my feed today:

Our baby is dead.

It’s not meant to be.

We will deal with Spud later on. We will try again in a few months.

But we will mourn it today.

Have a good week everyone!