“I’m sorry, but you’ve had a cancelled line before and Globe cannot process your application for new phone lines if you don’t pay your bill,” the friendly customer service personnel informed my husband.
“Huh? What do you mean?” my husband asked. “I’ve always been a good payer of Globe…”
“Well, it’s for number 0917-XXX-77X7,” she replied. “Does the number ring a bell?”
“Not really…” my husband said as he keyed in the number on his phone.
We were right there at Globe applying for more phone lines for my husband’s business. A good subscriber should be able to apply for at least 11 phone lines.
“Oh,” my husband said.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s for Wabbit,” he said. Wabbit is the nick name of his ex-girlfriend.
Now guys, I’ve never really been much of a jealous type.
But jealousy is not a problem that’s plagued any of my relationships ever since.
However, I don’t like it when an ex-girlfriend gets involved. Unfortunately, having been in a relationship with that girl for 2.5 years, her name does pop up now and then.
Like right now.
“So how much does she owe?” Husband asked.
“Php 29,000+, sir,” the customer service representative said.
I almost choked. “Php 29,000 of phone bills?!”
Php 29,000 is around USD 675 but hey, who’s counting?
Our situation is a Catch-22.
Since this is an ex-girlfriend husband hasn’t seen in the last five years, it’s going to be weird if he/we contact her again asking her to pay her Php 29,000 that is in my husband’s name. Even more so, the fact that she hasn’t paid her bill for almost a year also meant that she had no intention of paying her bill. Not now. Not ever.
It’s a dilemma created by the past.
And yet, my first reaction was anger.
“Why would anyone not pay their bill?” I thought. “If you incur the charges, you should pay! Why run off from your obligation just because it’s inconvenient?!”
There I am again… projecting my ethics and values towards others. This is silly of course. A lot of people here don’t care about unpaid debts. One of which is dear Wabbit.
My second reaction is jealousy.
Hence, the Green Eyed Monster.
Yes, I was upset that my husband applied for a line under his name for his ex-girlfriend. Obviously, that should’ve been cut when they broke up, which he wasn’t able to do. I do believe that he forgot to do so, and it was an innocent, careless mistake.
Honestly, I don’t want to hear of ex-girlfriend’s name.
I don’t want her to be spoken off positively, or to be better than me.
Honest truth, hearing of her again reminds me that husband had a past. He loved someone else other than me. And even after we are married, she is still somewhat present in our lives. What’s worse, ex-girlfriend has reared her ugly head once again via an unpaid extravagant phone bill.
Which somehow has to be paid for my husband’s name to be cleared off in Globe.
My third reaction is frustration.
What else can we do? We’re stuck in this problem now. And somehow problem needed to be solved.
Also, criticizing my husband would not help. In fact, it would simply make matters worse.
Finally, after thinking about it a little bit more, I calmed down.
First, it was a mistake.
Somewhat expensive, yes.
Intentional, absolutely not.
Two, I realized that jealousy makes me paranoid.
And this particular paranoia is not based in reality.
Hubby has not been in contact with her for 5 years. He has been nothing but devoted to me ever since we met, and I truly believe that I am the only girl in his life.
And there lies in our redemption — the realization that jealousy is irrational and can cause us to act in ways that are not correct.
So I apologized.
“Honey, I’m sorry for my reaction,” I said. “I think me being jealous makes you think that I don’t trust you. That I am doubting your loyalty.”
“Yes, I feel that way when you are suspicious,” he answered. “As if I’ve done something wrong and you caught me. It makes me feel that I am not worthy of your trust.”
“I trust you hon,” I replied. “It’s just that jealousy is an irrational feeling. It’s a girl thing and it makes our imagination wonder. However, it doesn’t mean that it is right, nor is it justified.”
“It’s fine love,” he said
And we snuggled and hugged.
And we were fine again.
That’s what marriage is like folks.
After almost five months of marriage, all I can say is marriage is what you make of it.
You can overreact, cry and nag, and only cause sadness and contempt.
Or you can talk about issues with your husband, and try to find a happy compromise so you can get back to loving.
It’s how you manage it.
As a friend once said, “Would you rather be right, or married?”
No other truer words have spoken.
Have a great week everyone!