The Case of the Hot-and-Cold Man

I’ve been duped again.

Why is it almost the same story?!

I meet this guy, with whom I have a fantastic connection. And after a thrilling emotional roller coaster ride of two weeks with constant flirting, great conversation and more, suddenly…

It just stops.

Just like that.

It first starts out real hot, and then, suddenly, it’s as cold as your fridge.

And you’re left scratching your head wondering, “What the heck happened?


You thought you were charming enough. He did laugh at your jokes. He loved your company. But for some reason, he sort of faded into the background.

Reading the women’s so-called Bible, you can’t help but accept the hard truth that…


He’s just not that into you anymore.

Maybe he was wildly interested at first, and did all he can to pursue you. But now… well, we all know why he’s no longer as excited in calling you up.

And geez, what drives you nuts is that you have no idea why.

Was it because you were not that pretty? Or not that charming? Maybe you’ve misread his signals? Maybe it was just too quick?

Nevertheless, the result is still the same, he’s gone.


I call this “The Case of the Hot-and-Cold Man.”

Hot in the first two weeks, cold afterwards…

Sounds familiar? Heard it happens a lot.

Happens quite often to me as well.

Guys kind of pursue you. But as soon as they know they “got” you (e.g., in other words, you’re interested)… POOF! They’re gone. Disappeared. Faster than Houdini!

And it’s so easy to bang our head to the wall and wail, “IS IT MEEEEEEEEE?!!! WHY?!!!”

I’m tempted to do that right this very minute, actually.

But you know what? I’d rather not.

First, banging your head to the wall ACTUALLY hurts. And secondly, if the guy isn’t that interested, then maybe it’s not meant to be. No need to hurt your heart even more.

Fate, they call it. If the guy cannot sustain his interest of you for more than two weeks, how can you rely on him for the rest of your life?

That’s interest for you… either you have it or you don’t.

And if you don’t, just move on. Don’t waste your time pretending it’s there. It’s not.

Not your fault if he’s not though. You’re just not… compatible. Just not meant to be.

Moving on!



My only mistake was that I was too trusting. When I felt that I had an instant connection with this man, I immediately opened myself up. He knew things that even most acquaintances didn’t know. I’ve allowed him certain liberties. And all these within two weeks.

Next time, I should be more cautious. I’ll call it my two-week mark test.

I won’t be as open to you within the two weeks I meet you. But if you can sustain your interest after two weeks, that’s the time I’ll open up to you more.

But it’s not entirely his fault though. He was pretty clear where he stood.

I merely deluded myself into thinking that there was something more, even if there wasn’t… I guess, I misinterpreted his actions. As they say, actions speak louder than words. But I should have listened to his words more.

Guess, now’s the time to distance myself and stop dreaming.

My friends say to forget it.

And you know what? I will.

My friends say that I should find myself a new man. I have the weekend to find myself one.

*roll eyes*

Geez, at the rate I’m going, it’s like I’m finding a new man every 2 weeks! That’s about the time I do my laundry!

I don’t like this instability. I wish I can find a decent guy now with whom I can share my life with… but I know I should wait and be patient.

If it comes, it comes. And for the moment…


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8 thoughts on “The Case of the Hot-and-Cold Man

  1. i somehow ended up on your blog. anyhow, it was fun to read. i’m all for strong, no-nonsense, determined & strong women…and you seem like ome 😉

  2. we both get into the same predicament. but this guy im dating now, i haven’t given up yet. you can say we’re hot-cold-hot-cold-hot stage. hahaha… 🙂

  3. I call this “The Case of the Hot-and-Cold Man.”

    Hot in the first two weeks, cold afterwards…

    Sounds familiar? Heard it happens a lot.

    Happens quite often to me as well.

    Guys kind of pursue you. But as soon as they know they “got” you (e.g., in other words, you’re interested)… POOF! They’re gone. Disappeared. Faster than Houdini!


    I think this happens when a guy realizes that you’re REALLY into them & that no matter what they do you would be there for them and wait for them to come around.

    So I say is this:

    It is okay to fall for a guy but have some reservations. Don’t give it all. Don’t make your world exist around your partner, becuase when the relationship falls apart then you will feel as if your world just collapsed.

    Most people say “in a relationship one always plays the role of the ‘lover’ and the ‘beloved'”— I find it a lot better when the woman becomes the beloved, because then the lover does most of the loving. Does that make sense? In short you’d be in a lot better relationship if your man LOVES YOU MORE than you love them… They should just love you MORE, because then they would have a lesser tendency to disappear on you or even screw up. Lastly, if the man you’re dating pulls a houdini act on you… “just smile and say thank you God that not married to him!” *LoL*

    So far this has worked amazingly for me. And yes my man knows that he plays the role of the lover and he doesn’t mind at all. We’re happy and can laugh about it and I love him for taking me as I am.

  4. ( **guys point of view** ) Maybe something is bothering him…maybe his preoccupied (lame excuse, i know).MAybe…maybe…naahh, i don’t know what’s goin on his mind anyway.. 🙂

  5. I was browsing and found this little jewel on the web. I like your style and I think you write some pretty good articles. (Funny stuff too :D)

    I have to agree with Abe though.. maybe the guy is preoccupied or something. Did you ever call him up to find out what’s going on with him? (Obviously I’m a guy :p)

    My own experiences are that Asian girls usually don’t initiate contact in the first couple of weeks, which can be discouraging for guys. Especially when we got tired and start disappearing and no effort is made to contact us, that is just… well… disappointing.

    Anyhow, I’m not saying that this is what happened to you, because you sounded like an open-minded, outgoing girl, so this guy is probably just the @ss that you think he is. (Excuse the language). Just thought I’d share my opinion from the other side. No offense intended. 😉

  6. Feeling Pretty, very well said! 🙂 Thanks for your input, and I 100% agree with you.

    All right, some updates… this weekend, asked the guy what the deal was. Turned out, he was interested as well, but we’ll see where we go for now. So far, so good… but I think I’ll follow Feeling Pretty’s advice — take it easy and don’t revolve my life around him. Hope he can realize how lucky he is to have someone like me. 😉 And if he can’t realize it in time, well that’s just too bad…

    Lazy Dude, thanks for visiting… hope you come back soon! Abe, thanks for dropping by again!

  7. Oh. My. God.

    This is what happened to me =(
    I’m over it now but I guess I have to be careful once a mirage comes along again. Grr. Haha.

    Have a good one, girls.

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