When Parental Guidance Become Toxic

When two people get together, they create themselves a bubble.


They come up with their own cheesy languages and nicknames. They tell themselves inside jokes only they can understand. And they interact as if there’s nobody else in the room. They live as if there’s only two people in the world, just him and her.

Unfortunately, after a while, harsh realities start coming in especially as the relationship gets serious.

Instead of just the two of you, you’ll have to let close family and friends in as you introduce each other to your circles, hoping and praying to God that they’ll all like each other and get along.

Social and familial obligations like showing up for relatives’ special occasions come to play. How can you say no to an uncle’s invitation for a friendly dinner at his house in Novaliches just because you think it’s far?

What’s more, what happens when a family member like your mother or your brother asks for a favor? Once done, the favor is still look at distaste by no fault of the boyfriend?

For example, my company wants to buy some car accessories right off eBay.

Since we are not used to purchasing things online and sending them over the Philippines, I’ve asked my boyfriend to help us do so. When the goods arrived, my brother said that our staff member told him that the wrong goods were ordered.

But how can the wrong goods be ordered if it was actually our staff member who gave us the exact links himself? If he made a mistake and ordered the wrong thing, don’t shoot the messenger.

In addition, you hope that everyone gets along, but fact of the matter is, unless you’re completely fake and can put on a different face to everyone you come across with, you’ll be bound NOT to like some people and if you’re honest about it, that sentiment would be transparent in your face.

My mom for example seems to be in a change-my-boyfriend mode these days. If there’s a little mistake that boyfriend has done, she calls me out on this. It’s come to the point that I have to filter out her comments so I can share with boyfriend what’s the things he really needs to change, and the things that he doesn’t need to change and will only be done for my mom’s benefit.

I think that in a relationship, it’s good to get some outside views to a relationship so you can have an impartial view. However, at the end of the day, you’ll need to decide what is most important to you — how other people view your relationship, or how you actually feel in the relationship.

For now, I choose my relationship.

Boyfriend makes me happy in so many different ways, and if I show him the support he needs, I think other people will also feel the same. If I pick him, who else can counter that?

It’s just a matter of confidence. The show of confidence itself is enough.

And once the show of confidence is there, it empowers both your mate to change for the better for you to his own accord, and for you to grow in love.

Have a great week ahead!

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