Yes, I’m The Other Woman.

In your imagination, I’m the malicious woman who plots to steal your Significant Other away, which is exactly what I’m desperately trying to do (that’s sarcasm if you still didn’t get it).

I’m the woman who steals his rapt attention away from you, whereas that wouldn’t be the case if in fact he finds you oh so interesting to begin with.

I’m the woman who he tells his many secrets to, including what he really thinks about when you’re in bed together, your bad habits and the fact that he doesn’t love you yet (and he knows you’ll get berserk if he admitted it to your face).

Yes, I’m that other woman you’d just love to hate, to push off the cliff if you had the chance. And the only reason why you have yet to do so is because your boyfriend will dump you for being so insecure.

You wish that your boyfriend wouldn’t hang out with me too much, and he’d rather hang out with you or with the boys. You hate it that I’m not super ugly and if I was fat and frumpy, you’ll secretly clap your hands with glee.

Sheeeet, you wish I have a boyfriend already so I wouldn’t be stealing yours.

Ladies and gentlemen, that’s what I am — the woman that many girlfriends love to hate. 🙁

When I breeze in a restaurantin my bright colored dress and well-done makeup, loudly greeting everyone upon my entrance and give you a warm hug, inside you must admit you’re seething because you wish I wasn’t there in the first place.

When I sit down upon my seat next to your boyfriend, you groan inside. You know that now’s the time your boyfriend stops paying attention to you, and would rather talk to me instead.

When your boyfriend and I laugh aloud, you wrinkle your brows with worry. “What the hell are they laughing about?” And then you start being paranoid because you’re not in the joke and you wish to be included in your boyfriend’s every joke.

When there’s a sense of friendly connection between your boyfriend and I, mainly because hello — we are friends, you worry that that connection is actually that of a boyfriend-girlfriend nature, and the only reason why he’s dating you is because I didn’t want to date him.

I remember one of my best guy friends sharing a story of the aftermath after we hung out together — him, me and his girlfriend. He was like, “Uh-oh Bonita, I don’t think we can hang out together just the three of us anymore. One woman is more than I can handle.”

“Why’s that?” I inquired.

“Imagine the conversation below which transpired after you left,” he begun…

Best guy friend girlfriend: “Hey, let’s watch ‘Monster vs. Aliens’ tomorrow…”

Best guy friend: “Sorry but I already watched it.” (he recently flew in and caught the movie in the airplane)

Best guy friend girlfriend: “You don’t watch any movies with me.” *sulks*

Best guy friend: “What do you mean? I just watched ‘Departures’ with you last week!”

Best guy friend girlfriend: “Hmph, that’s only just because Bonita didn’t want to see it.

Best guy friend: -_-

And it’s been downhill soon after.

Now let me get something straight here.

THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND YOUR BOYFRIEND.

Not now and not ever.

Cut the When Harry Met Sally crap, but if we (your boyfriend and I) wanted to date each other, it would’ve happened a long long time ago, way before he met you.

And that’s one of the reasons why your boyfriend and I get along so well. Because deep inside, we always crave for that unemotional, buddy-buddy connection with another without the drama of being with someone you’ve already slept with.

There’s just that freedom in spending time with someone who doesn’t drop an emotional timebomb every time you say something really truthful and judge you as an asshole just because you didn’t like what he was telling you.

Hence, if a guy for example tells me that actually, he doesn’t find you THAT interesting but cannot find the guts to dump you because you just started going out and people will think he’s a jerk for dumping you, I don’t tell him what a bastard he really is (which he is not btw — you can’t really force someone to find you interesting if you’re really not) and that he doesn’t deserve you.

When he tells me that he doesn’t love you but just likes you — I don’t really break down and cry because hell, I’m NOT his girlfriend. You are so your a bit biased.

When he tells me that you’re bad in bed and he finds it hard to tell you because you’ll be offended, I can empathize. It’s hard for him to give you feedback without you feeling insulted and hey, why stop the flow if it’s still coming.

When he tells me that he’s thinking of dumping you, but cannot really find the right way to do so, my only mental note is not really to steal him but that he should just dump you here and now so you can move on with your life and find someone else better.

I think it irks you, right? When a guy confides with another girl because hell, that’s your territory?

But how will a guy ever tell you things that will hurt you? He may think it, feel it but heck, he doesn’t really wanna voice it, and who wants to see you break and cry anyway?

Girlie, look dear — I’m not out to get your boyfriend. He’s yours, all yours unless another girl catches his fancy. But let me tell you that that other girl won’t really be me. It would be someone else, and you just didn’t know it.

To be honest, I’m most likely the least threatening girl in the room because I don’t go for a guy with a girlfriend. That just goes against my internal code. And why would I go after him when there are other more wonderfully available men out there.

Listen to me: “I like your boyfriends as FRIENDS. The fact that I get along very well with your boyfriend doesn’t mean that I won’t date them. On the get go, I can tell you right now that even if they were single, I still wouldn’t date them because we’re not compatible to begin with aside from just being friends.”

So place away your claws and stop being so jealous and insecure.

But I know you won’t listen.

And you’d think I’m a bitch and hope that I’d just die.

Instead of being friendly and actually trying to be my best friend, you instead choose to encourage your boyfriend not to see me and sulk if he does. Babe, that’s just a losing tactic you know?

Sigh.

Anyway, enough the rambling.

I’m just tired with all these women who don’t like me because am such chums with their boyfriend. If I wanted to steal them, then fine. But the fact is, we’re just friends and NOTHING is going on.

And nobody believes me.

Soooo…. this is my plight. Enough with the rambling. Am sure that everyone else has an opinion, but if you do, please be kind.

Have a good evening!