It took me around two weeks to move on after I broke up with my ex.
I can see you guys raising your eyebrows now. Just two weeks!!!
Yes. Two weeks.
Then comes the question, Did you love him?
I guess, for some people, the amount of love you give someone is correlated to the amount of time it took you to get over someone.
Some people took an average of six months to a year to get over their special someone. They experience bouts of severe depression, loads of tears and moaning about their failed relationship. My Japanese friend who broke up with her significant other way a month before I did, is still in mourning now. Every time she talks to him, she still cries her eyes out. Depressed as hell.
Mine took two weeks.
Why was it relatively so easy to get over someone? Was it because I didn’t love him?
Wrong. I loved the guy (still do), and everyone knows it. And he will always have a place in my heart. Great guy, but really, we just weren’t meant to be.
And it’s not as if I didn’t mourn… the first week was ABSOLUTE hell.
There were times that I was just moving like the dead. I couldn’t feel. I felt numb. And four days after that numbing hell, I bawled my eyes out. And yes, at one point in time, for one-split second, I thought of jumping off the building because it just damn hurt so much. But I called up my girlfriend and she made me realize that life was too precious to lose over a relationship that wasn’t good for me anyway (I love my friends!!!).
Second week was a lot better. I managed to pick up the pieces and move on.
Current state of being: Content. Am glad I had the courage to break it off. In fact, if I do see him again, I’d thank him. And I would say, two months after the break, I have already moved on.
Abe has asked me how to move on after a failed relationship…
If you ask my guy friends, they’d say rebounds are the best way. You know, find someone else, sleep with them or something, and then move on. As they say, “Rip off the bandage — it may hurt as hell, but at least, the pain’s only for a short period of time.”
It’s not that I didn’t think about finding myself a transitional man. Mind you, not to sleep with of course (am too much of a prude to do that). But maybe kiss him and finally provide myself the closure I desperately needed at that time. And you know what, I really wanted to. A week after my relationship ended, I wanted to go clubbing, find myself a man and forget about my ex. There’s nothing that will make you forget about your ex as fast as an attractive man who finds you hot and appealing…
But you know what? My friends kept me sane.
They told me, “Look XXXX, you can easily find yourself a man. But is that really what you want?”
They have a point. You don’t play with fire, and expect NOT to get burned.
So I went out partying that first week with friends, and went home.
Ironically, I met Mike-Vibe the second week I broke up with my ex (Look at previous ‘Vibe Adventure series’ for more about Mike-Vibe). I don’t think it was him who made me forget about my ex… we really didn’t do anything.
But I won’t deny it, he did help. 😉 Great boost to the self-esteem.
2 thoughts on “Part I: Moving On…”
I’m speechless…thank you so much 🙂
Guilty as charged! when we broke up, i went on a rebound…and you are correct, don’t play fire with fire… Bit by bit m now trying to move on, psyching myself that it’s time to let go and just accept the fact that everything happened for a reason..
Rebounds merely offer short-term relief, but it’s never really good for the long-term. And unfair for the other person if he/she doesn’t know about the breakup.
My “rebounds” helped. Both Mikes in my life were rebounds, but they left the country within 2 weeks that there were no long-term damage. I was pretty lucky. 😉 But it’s still quite dangerous. Some rebounds tend to get serious, and it’s never easy to dally with your feelings.