Every time a guy asks me out, I totally freak out.
Imagine my thought process: “OMIGOSH!!! He likes me!!! OMIGOSH!!! But I don’t like him that much!”
This thought process seems to be normal here. In Taiwan or even the rest of Asia, if a guy asks you out (and this according to my Taiwanese girlfriends), he should like you. Asian guys are pretty shy; they usually won’t ask a woman out unless he really, really likes her. Otherwise, he’s too much of a sissy to ask you.
No wonder their heart often gets squashed to pieces…
Of course, it doesn’t help if I’m not even that attracted to a guy. Then, I’d have to be extra careful. I don’t want to lead anybody on.
That’s just me though: If I’m interested, I’ll show my interest. But if I’m not interested, there’s no way on earth that I would go out with you. A lot of Taiwanese women are happy in keeping their options open, dating around and finding the “best” one. I can’t. I can only be interested in one guy at a time, and if I’m not interested in you, sorry.
No wonder I’m still single. 🙁
But if you really think about it, how can a guy like you if he doesn’t even know you that well yet? And how can he know you that well if he doesn’t ask you out?
So again, I went to my guy-friends for some wisdom. This was when a guy who was a friend but I was not romantically interested in, asked me out. And again, they rolled their eyes in exasperation.
“When a guy asks you out, he doesn’t like you. He is merely interested in you,” my trusty guy-friend said. “‘Interest’ and ‘like’ are two different things. Interest means that he’d like to get to know you better.”
“Go! Go to that date. XXXXXX will show you a good time,” he encouraged. “He’ll wine you and dine you. At least, you’ll know what a good date feels like.”
My guy friend knew that my ex never treated me very well.
But it felt weird, because I was not even remotely interested in this guy. To tell you why, it was because he used to be interested in my close girlfriend here in Taiwan just a week before he met me. But my close girlfriend already had a significant other… so week went by, and he asked me out! I felt like I was having her sloppy seconds. It’s a pride thing.
Personally, I think a lot. If a guy shows his interest, my first automatic response is, “he likes me!” Because of that, I am more conscious when I’m with him. I am unconsciously more careful on what I say or do when I’m in his company.
But one thing I should remember, it’s not “like” at all. No guy can ever like someone in that very short period of time. They are interested, period. But they don’t want to marry you just yet.
So this is what I should remember. Next time a guy asks me out, to just take it easy. Go and have fun!