March 18, 2014

Dear Little Brother,

I thought it would be best to write you a letter. I write to you because I struggle with some indecision. Honestly, I am afraid to make a mistake, and I want to ensure that my wedding day would be a happy occasion for everyone. So, I don’t want to make a decision without getting your input first.

First, the issue is about who will walk me down the aisle. Personally, I would like you and mom to walk me down the aisle. This breaks tradition because usually, either the bride’s parents walk her down the aisle, and if one is deceased, the living elders. Having prayed about it for weeks now, I’ve come to the conclusion that given that there’s only the three of us left, I would like to give you this honor, as dad-alternate and my only brother. The walk is halfway the aisle as I will enter the hallway by myself (for better photographs), but the symbolism is clear and there, with you and mom right beside me hand in hand. I would like to ask if you are comfortable with this arrangement, and if you would like to accept this honor? It would be a great gesture to me if you will accept.

Two, I would like to ask you if you would want (your girlfriend) to be part of my entourage? She of course is already a guest, but I ask you this because normally, (my fiance’s) family do not allow anyone who is not yet a wife to be part of entourage. They think it’s a bit premature, and puts a lot of undue pressure on the couple. Friends are fine, but boyfriends or girlfriends can be a bit tricky. We have discussed this in detail however, and believe that it’s best to ask you directly for your opinion on this matter. Look into your heart. It’s about what you want. Is this important for you? Would you rather have her as entourage or as guest? As I love you and respect your decision, I would leave this decision up to you and act accordingly to what you want.

Please let me know your decision. Whatever you decide, I will follow accordingly. My only request is for you to let me know by March 21 (Friday) morning because I would like to finalize my invitation for Ahia William to make. Lead time is at least a month, and I need to finish all invitation before the end of April to give guests enough time to respond to our invitation.

That said, I want you to know that I love you and care for you. I still look fondly on the months when we were always together. I remember I was always the awkward third wheel, and yet, you never made me feel out of place. You were always so protective of me and it was always great fun discussing random business ideas and issues within the office. You even gave me my Valentine’s flowers when I had no Valentine’s and crying over the creep, (Trader). Those were fun times!  These days, I still hope for the nights where you, mom and I can go out once again once in a while for dinner as a family, without any of our significant others. When can we have those again? The family is still the three of us, and I will still be a (my surname) even as I accept another surname beside ours in 2.5 months time.

In my heart though, I do have faith that this rift between us is temporary. Call it folly, but hey, if the three of us love each other, I’m sure we’ll find a way to figure things out. One big first step is for me to learn to let go of what I expect you to do, and instead accept on what you want to do.

So here are the first two decisions I want you to make. Pray about it, and without any prodding from anyone else, let me know what you want by Friday. I will respect your decision and support it. Know that despite our conflicts (anyway, all family have conflicts), I am still your older sister and will love you no matter what. Also, I will strive to be more encouraging and supportive in the future. On hindsight, I think in the hopes of trying to help you at (his company) and trying to protect you from making the wrong life decisions, I have in turn behaved too harshly and critically on you. You my dear were also doing the same to me. This is unhealthy, and for my part, I am very sorry. We could’ve saved each other a lot of pain if we could have let go of our expectations and only trust each other to make the right decisions.

Oh well, we live and learn. Let me know lo!

Your beautiful and ever so lovely sister,

Bonita