Sometimes, life takes you at a crossroad with the two paths whose outcomes are just radically different.

At one end, a life being a full-time MBA student beckons though one can imagine waving goodbye to all the luxurious meals, weekend flights and needless shopping.

In the other,  the life of a career woman. At ease with wearing business casual attire or a powerhouse suit. Demanding perfection and ordering everyone about.

I was at HKUST for my full-time MBA interview today and it was surprising just how much I stuck out like a sore thumb with that suit of mine. Everyone seemed to be kids, but oh, wasn’t that a joy after working for far too long?

The life of a student interests me. It’s one thing that I find to still be interesting and worthwhile to do if not only for the pesky opportunity cost of leaving work. It would be easier if I was unemployed, but I’m not. Hence, in order to be a full time student, I’d have to quit my job, and my parents have already computed just how bad the cost damage would be with their daughter being dependent on them again.

On the other hand, inasmuch that I like my job, I do not like the prospect of settling.

In my job, I am settling.

Sure, I have the title and the authority to make things happen. However, I am doing something I don’t really want to do for the long-term. Others have made what I do a career and can raise two kids in international school for that. I unfortunately, don’t have the will to do what I do for the rest of my life.

There’s a position I’m aiming for, and the powers have the authority to grant it. There is for one, finally a need for someone to fulfill the position and I’ve already been vocal that I am aspiring for that position.

Just a matter on whether they give it to me or not.

So, I make a deal with myself.

If within 3 months, my line managers make no effort in making an effort in moving me to my aspired position, then I would just have to take the studying opportunity with both hands and run with the ball.

If they do make me an offer I cannot refuse, then at the very least, I can go for a part-time program. Which suits me quite well as well.

Now I am praying for guidance.

My colleague once said that life is all about making smart decisions.

Make smart decisions and you do well. Make bad decisions and it’s like stepping on quicksand. You just sink, sink, sink.

He said that life was like this wooden pinball game. Once the ball is deployed, it follows its path. It can only go left or right and cannot veer too much. However, how it decides will ultimately bring him to the end game. Which endgame it is really depends on your decision.

I believe that my life is like that.

I’m at the crossroads of my life, waiting to make the right decisions.

Please pray that I do make the correct one.