These days, I am enjoying the far too much the attention of two men. For a person who keeps on asking the readers of her blog if a guy’s interested, it’s a bit of a surprise when I can say with some certainty that a guy IS.
The signs are all there — when a guy likes you, you’ll basically know. He’ll call at random times, keep in touch and remember minute details of conversations without you even asking him to. He’ll be quite sweet, practically shower you with attention and treat you as if you’re God’s best gift to men.
Yes, I’ve felt these feelings before, albeit with my ex-boyfriend who practically swept me off my feet. He showered me with so much attention that I swooned and fell to his arms though if I may admit, quite quickly. And you know how THAT ended. It was the time when I was new to Hong Kong, lonely and very much missing him, and he did the slow disappear (that jerk).
Well, that was almost five months ago.
Today, I’m a lot more content to where my life is in Hong Kong. Sure, I may not be as pleased with my job prospects and general market sentiment, and I wish that my colleague could stop being a unstable biatch who blows up whenever she feels upset, but heck, it was a lot better than when I first came. At the very least, have been regaining my footing and at least, I found a few good friends.
And with regards to Guy 1, who else but my ex-boyfriend has started calling me back again?
“Are you drunk dialing me?” I teased him when he called this week. “I notice that when you drink, you call me!”
“Noooo, I’m not drunk at all,” he insisted. “I just felt the need to call you!”
My ex-guy does not live in Hong Kong and we’ve had our relationship long-distance. When I was in Taiwan, he used to call around 2-3 times a week. When he was still pursuing me, he would keep in contact with such intensity that a message to him, would get a message almost immediately back.
We’e enjoyed our puns and teases all too much, and he has this uncanny ability to make me smile given his very witty responses. I think I have the same effect too, and his colleagues had commented that they knew he would be talking to me (when he calls me during his lunch hour) because he’d forget where he is and rattle off, obviously enjoying the conversation a little bit too much.
But then again, all the enjoyment and smiles that I have don’t really counter the hurt I felt when he just stopped calling. The first week he didn’t call, I thought it was merely because he was on vacation in the alps and it was too inconvenient to do so. But at the end of the slow second week, I knew.
It was the end.
For some unique reason, that was the closure I needed. Three weeks went by and then four before he even gave me a call again. An entire month, my friends, of your boyfriend not calling you! So by that time, I’ve already felt that we’ve moved on. We drifted apart and it was over.
In the next coming months, we would at times talk. Circumstances force us to do so. We mutually understood that our relationship was over, hence, the tapered conversations. And yet, all of these calls though seemingly random were enjoyed by both parties and allowed us to keep a civil relationship despite removing the elements of a relationship.
Does he still like me? I’d like to think so.
Chemistry is such a wonderful thing and we have strong bursts of these. And I have no doubts that if there was a girl in his life, that should be me at one of its forefronts.
However, the question lies is, is it enough to stay in a relationship? Will this work in the long term?
Our lives are too complicated for us to be together. It just won’t work from what I see, without some huge sacrifices in both of our parts. Sure, its great to deal with him when things are light and breezy but relationships also require some commitment, and unfortunately, ours would require HUGE bouts of it to make it work.
Don’t ask me how or why I know, but yes, this is a relationship that requires huge effort from both parties. It’s just a question of whether we like each other THAT MUCH to make it work.
As for Guy 2, he’s come in the picture recently. Let’s call him Trader because that’s what he does.
Most of you have correctly guessed that the guy who called me long-distance was quite interested. And btw, did you know that each minute of a certain plan costs HKD2 a minute? Anyway, he’s taken advantage of that to make cheaper calls to Hong Kong.
Anyway, before I veer off and digress even further, yes, Trader seems to be interested, and quite so.
The good/bad thing about Trader is that he’s not as cocky as my ex-boyfriend. Whereas my ex could easily make my blood boil (in a good way) given his intellectual naughtiness, Trader is as straight as an arrow and is quite endearing given his innocence and naivete on certain things. He says what he means, and he means what he says.
On our first conversation, he made me feel that he wanted to get to know ME better. He asked questions on my stance about mid-term goals, on family, on whether I was a dog or cat person. Don’t ask me why but I felt that he wanted to get to know me, instead of randomly shooting off whatever topic our conversation led us to which was what exactly happened with the ex-boyfriend.
Funny, despite my being in a relationship with me, I doubt that ex-boyfriend actually understands the idiosyncrasies that made me, me. For all our long conversations on the phone, he asked me about what happened at work, about my friends’ stories and I’d regale him on what funny things happened when I went out.
But come to think of it, he didn’t really ask me anything about myself. 🙁
To this day, I probably wouldn’t be surprised if ex-boyfriend doesn’t know that I have half-siblings, want my coffee with a dash of nutmeg, a dog person if I had a chance, doesn’t like to do the laundry and all the little details that make me neurotic and wonderful depending on who you ask.
Sure, he’d know about the macro issues on where I work, what my hobbies are, how I feel about my parents. But minute details such as what I’ve mentioned meant less important to him. He had his own life to live, so in a way, it wasn’t a priority of his to be bothered by the small things that bother me.
Maybe Trader (Guy 2) is infatuated which is why he’s extra caring, but deep inside, I really believe that this is who he is. I think that for the lucky girl who does end up to be with him, she’ll be happy to find that he’s Mr. Super Dependable. He’s the guy who’ll give way to a girl because it makes her happy and enjoy her company even though you’re really not doing anything.
With Ex-boyfriend, I feel that I need to do something fun and exciting to keep his interested. With Trader, I feel as if I can just stand there and he’s comfortable just being by my side. And once he’s committed, he’s as content being with you and not with anything else.
With Ex-boyfriend, I feel that he’s only with me because I am entertaining to be with. With Trader, I feel he wants to be with me just because he likes me, just the way I am.
Admittedly, his being Mr. Reliable make Trader a bit boring, but we’ll just ramble about that in another post.
This brings me to a bit of a dilemma.
I will be visiting these two boys very soon (remember about long distance relationships), and both are just happy as a penny. Ex-boyfriend had upped up his call intensity, and would definitely want to hook up meet up once again. Guess that five months could be such a long time.
Trader is hoping to spend time with me and is willing to take me around. With him, our slate is clean and I think it’s promises to be a pretty clean trip.
So what do you think?
Should I spend time with the Ex,or with Trader? I only have very limited time there and I can only have one or both to choose.
A poll has been created for you — let me know what you guys think, and I’ll keep that into consideration during my trip there. Oooo, Saturday morning! Hope everyone has a great weekend and really sorry that life has been too hectic for me to post. Hope this long one helps a bit!