It makes me sad when people have some misconception about me. I was having a great time at a party when a guy who knows I have this blog told me, “I know that you have a blog. Please don’t blog about me.”

“You’ve read it?” I asked, surprised. I’ve taken care not to tell any of my intimates that this blog exist and if ever I write something, usually take care not to mention any names to keep everything vague. In addition, I try to focus more on the issue on hand instead of lashing out to any particular individual.

No, but I know you have it. So don’t write what I said on your blog,” he said.

Immediately, the joy of the evening went away, replaced by sadness. Did he think that I would be so callous to include anything sensitive on my blog? I would assume that he knew I had the capacity to know what to put and what not to put.

This makes me realize that by publishing your thoughts on the Internet, it in return becomes somebody’s public consumption. Whereas you are naive in thinking that what you write is a way of expressing your deepest thoughts and feelings, you sometimes ignore that there are other people who read it as well, and they will judge you based on the snapshot you offer on the blog.

Do note that what I write is merely a snippet of my life at the moment, and not to be taken personally or in whole. However, some people feel that me mentioning an issue that relates to them is an invasion of privacy, and yes, I do respect that.

Still, it’s sad that one has to warn me what to do and what not to do. It’s like telling someone at the store, “Don’t steal anything,” or a guy, “Don’t cheat on her.” If it never occurs to you that he/she will do it, then you won’t mention it. What’s more, I do think I can blog about my thoughts while protecting the innocent, and actually differentiate who I can blog about, and who I need to keep my hands off from as I am aware that privacy is extremely important to them.

Anyway, enough about that. Not really worth to worry about these things when it’s this late.

Btw, I just noticed that if guys really want to see you, they call and ask you out. “Why didn’t you call me and followup on a date?” a guy complained.

Well, I usually don’t call people up,” I said. “Besides, I’ve been too busy lately so it’s hard for me to keep track of people actively.”

“So does that mean am just like any guy you met?” he continued. “Am not special?”

Wow, this guy is really taking my not following up on a date seriously… 🙁

No no no. However, when people want to see me, they call me,” I replied in my defense. “I don’t like calling guys up for dates…”

“Well, I’d like to take you out,” he retorted. “You. Me. A date.”

Call me chicken but so hard to say no when a guy straight up asks you out. It’s admirable and especially if he calls, I really have no excuse to say no especially if he asks you four/five days before.

So we decide to meet (Raven’s a sucker).

God, I don’t know why I agree to these things, or what to expect. But as some of you have advised, just go with the flow. Enjoy and you’ll never really know what will happen until after you see him. Try to see if your pre-conceptions of him is actually valid, or are they part of your raging imagination.

Ann asked me if I’ve said no.

Honestly, I’ve been dodging the bullet. I figured that if a guy doesn’t call to followup, then he shouldn’t be that interested and better save yourself the trouble and move on to other fishies in the sea.

However, it’s time to stop skirting around the issue. He’s already called you up and you’ve already said yes.

Hope that I really have a lot of fun, and be able to loosen up to go and just do it!

*breathe deeply*

Okay, shower time! Nighty night everyone!

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3 thoughts on “Saddened…

  1. I’m at my mothers place now and we’ve got a chinese calender hanging on the wall… so a calender with chinese zodiac.

    mine was for 100% correct and it has been an eye-opener for me. I found yours. you’re a monkey right??

    if yes, then it says…

    gossips and hidden traps are around you; keep an eye on everyone and learn to protect yourself.

    economical flaws are there and early patch up is needed; be prudent in financial matters and do not underestimate your counterparts.

    feeling is dull; the more you expect, the greater the disappointment

    I know, it’s a bit on the short side, but in my case it really hit the nail on the head and I didn’t need more words to see things in a different perspective.

    …. I was wondering, is it possible for you to mail me?


  2. It too falls under the “political realities” category. Being a male and somewhat shy person, I always feel like it’s a stupid habit to expect men to always call first. But on this side of the fence, there isn’t much to do but go with the flow.
    You being on the other side however, maybe could try it out once in a while? At very least I think it would be an interesting, and perhaps productive change if you felt like it.


  3. Goran, it’s important for females to feel wanted. Think of it this way, if we pursue the men, it’s quite unlikely it’ll work out anyway because they weren’t that interested in us anyway. My experience taught me that this is true. So I wait. 🙂

    On the upside, believe in fate. If the guy is right, he’ll call.

    J., thanks for checking out the horoscopes again. Wow, they hit the nail right on the head. Hahahaha! Kinda scary. Wished they were more positive though. Will drop you a mail these few days. Really busy though but will do that before week is out. TTYL!

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