*Written on September 26, 2005 and stored in the Raven archives. I’m publishing it now as is. Ah, those were the good old days! 🙂
A girl friend of mine called me last Friday asking about an upcoming activity. It was pretty blah until she got into the main reason of her call.
“Who’s Peter*?” she asked.
Peter was just one of the more eligible bachelors in our organization. A graduate from a famous Ivy League university, 30-something Peter looked pretty good on paper. He was also one of our cuter guy members.
Many women liked Peter. I know at least three women who had a crush on him. It’s not very uncommon for girls to give me a call and ask about him. Usually, they want to know what he’s like, or if he’s going to the next event.
“Yes, Peter wrote me an email this week,” she nonchalantly said. “But for the life of me, I can’t even remember who he is! I met so many people that day.”
I had to laugh aloud.
A lot of women would just die to receive some attention from Peter, but my girl friend couldn’t even remember what he looked like.
So I described to her where he sat. Finally, she remembered him.
“Oh, so that’s him.”
“Yes,” I replied. “A lot of women like him. He seems to be a pretty nice guy.”
“He’s okay,” she said.
Out of curiosity, I asked her what Peter wrote in his email.
“Nothing much,” she replied. “He basically said hi, and mentioned that I looked like I was truly having fun at the event.”
I can imagine her shrugging her pretty shoulders as if it’s no big deal.
My girl friend is pretty, but not to die for. But she has a happy personality and a great smile. Though she’s single, she doesn’t look desperate and has fun in almost every event I see her in.
I’m looking forward to see if anything’s going to happen between Peter and my girl pal. I’ve seen so many women throw themselves at Peter with funny results… it’s actually nice to finally find someone whom he seems interested in.
And the ironic thing was, she didn’t go to the event to look for attention.
Instead, she just went there to have fun, and that’s what attracted him to her.
* Names have been changed for privacy purposes.
As I’ve mentioned earlier, I know so many single women who’s actively looking for someone. Some are aggressive enough to even ask their target out.
Most of the time, it doesn’t work out.
Guys smell desperation a mile away. “I can have her whenever I want to,” they say.
It’s a turn-off.
Ultimately, I think guys still want to do the chasing. They want to make the first move. Though it’s scarier, it’s better if they were the ones who chose their mates, instead the other way around.
And believe me, if they’re interested, they’ll make a move.
Be it a simple text, MSN, call or email, they’ll make that first move.
Don’t misinterpret it immediately that they like you though. Most women jump the gun and assume that the guy likes her.
Girl, he doesn’t like you yet. He doesn’t even know you. How can you like someone if you have no idea what type of person he/she is?
He’s interested though, and that’s a start.
And if you’re interested, personally, I don’t think hard to get works as well. Just be yourself and don’t really play games. Only immature people play games.
Guys are always in tune towards signals you give out. If they think you’re not really interested, they cower and give up. And you’re left in the dust.
“I’d give it up to three dates max,” a guy friend said earlier. “If I don’t get any signal that she’s interested, I move on.”
I asked my boyfriend if I gave out any signals when we were hanging out/dating.
“Hmmm… remember when we were at CKS Hall and you leaned to me?” he replied. “That was a signal.”
It was a sincerely unconscious action. But that was enough of a signal for him.
For my ex, he started being interested after I gave him a signal — my leaning my head on his shoulders on a trip. Still scratching my head over that one because I do this with every close guy friend I said.
Anyway, the best way to grab a guy’s attention is to just be yourself.
If he is interested, he will call and make a move.
If not, well, at least, you had fun.
C’est La Vie!