My Auntie Anita has already passed away.

She was buried two to three days after, leaving a couple of apartments that was her source of income over the years, and two children.

Sadly, none of her children even flew back to the Philippines to show up for the funeral.

And no, I didn’t even shed a tear. I don’t have enough emotional attachment to her for me to feel anything more than sadness on the passing away of a relative.

Even my dad, who was her brother, wasn’t truly affected by her death.

It’s sad to think about it though. It makes you think about your own mortality?

When you die (and you will one day), would you have left the earth with a bang, or a mere whisper? How much difference have you made during the time of your existence?

In other words, when you die, who will cry at your funeral?

Or will there be any one who’ll cry at your leaving?

Whose heart will break once you leave this earth?

My gosh, I do hope that someone cries in mine. It’s sad to think that no one will care whether you’re here or not.

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I don’t think my Auntie Anita had wished to have lived the life that she lived.

When you’re young, you dreamt of being super successful. You dreamt that people knew of you, and you made such a big difference in the world.

Instead, her husband died when she was young.

She had two children, none of which would give their lives to her.

She had a stable income care of several apartments she rents out. But her own home is empty, save for her.

As a cranky woman, she didn’t really have a lot of friends. She would seek them out but nobody really stayed very long.

I don’t think she meant to be the glass half-empty type of person. She didn’t mean to exude negativity.

It was just the way she was.

God gave each and every one of us equal time to make a difference, to contribute something in this earth.

I don’t think Auntie Anita used her time very well.
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I try not to think about my own death. My father, who is in his late 60s hate the thought of his own mortality. He does all he can to maintain his image of power, even though his body is weakening and his health isn’t as good as before.

But every person must die.

I guess, that’s why, I’m so enamored with leading organizations, doing projects, trying to make a difference in someone else’s lives.

It’s a way to leave a legacy, I guess.

So that when I die, people will say, “Yes, I remember her… she did so and so.”

That’s why people write books — to leave a legacy.

So that when you die, people will still remember.

They still have a glimpse of you.

That’s why I’m writing this melancholy entry.

That even in death, Auntie Anita is somewhat remembered.

Not fondly, maybe. But at least, people knew of her. And would learn from the life that she led.

It was a very sad life… and I do hope that you realize, in death, you bring none of your riches or fame. I hope all of us realize to value what is really important —you’re your family and friends.

If I died tomorrow, it would be such a waste.

But I know I will be happy.

Because I know for a fact that there will be people going to my funeral.

And that there are some who would shed tears for me.

And that, for me, is enough.

How about you? Who do you think will cry at your funeral?

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On a less somber note, my boyfriend just got back from his trip yesterday! He arrived Thursday morning and it was SO GREAT just to see him again! He was a little bit jetlagged so basically spent all day sleeping, but it was real nice to finally touch and talk to him, without the need of cords and wires. 😀

And no, he didn’t bring me a loaf of bread…

He did bring me some chocolates and a bag of Reese’s candies.

Haha, my friends and I were talking about it the other day. We were just saying that some gifts mean more because there is a story involved. For example, the gift of string (I’ll tell you guys the story in later entries) for my birthday.

In this case, Reese’s candies are what my boyfriend loved to eat as a child.

Aaawww…

It’s nice though. We talked last night and he said he did put some thought on the gift and was thinking on what to buy me… but the fact that he was in the mountains fishing or spending time with family and friends at home doesn’t help.

There’s really nothing to buy/get me except rocks from the river, or a souvenir t-shirt from a fishing shop.

So chocolates and candies it is.

I hugged him tight and sincerely thanked him for the gift.

Although I appreciate the chocolates and candies, the effort he put in thinking about which gift to buy touched me.

It sure is glad to have him back again!!! 😀