My guy friend wanted to call up his ex, who is now engaged to another man. He asked me if he was doing the right thing.
He wants to resume their friendship, even after she has made it clear that she’s not ready for it yet.
I thought about it opened my mouth and said, “What’s a decision anyway? And what makes a decision good or bad?”
“Once you make a decision, just let it go,” I continued. “Now, if the result was favorable, the decision is good. If the result was unfavorable, the decision you made is bad.”
Which is true: If she slams the invitation to his face and rejects him, then the decision was a bad one. And if she accepts the invitation and talk their issues with a cup of coffee, then the decision’s a good one.
But then again, maybe life isn’t just that simple.
I remembered when I was applying to get into university.
Unlike other parents who want their kids to take up business, my father wanted me to take up a more feminine course — interior design at the University of Santo Thomas.
And unlike other children who aimed for more creative courses, I stubbornly insisted that I take up business at the Ateneo de Manila University — arguably the second most prestigious school in the Philippines.
My father wouldn’t budge.
He insisted that I take up interior design. He even went as far as driving me to Greenhills to look at interior design exhibitions and talk to students who had took up the course.
On my part, I talked to my dad’s friends who went to Ateneo, and asked them to tell my dad on how good the education was.
Heck, I even went as far as to write a 3-page letter on why he should allow me to take up business. He merely glanced at it and put it aside.
“You shouldn’t waste your time writing letters,” he coldly replied.
But in the end, he finally relented and allowed me to apply to Ateneo.
The first year was difficult, and my GPA was merely satisfactory.
If I remember correctly, my father gave me a bit of crap about that, citing that it would’ve been better if I was “a big fish in a small pond, than a small fish in a big pond.”
Not a great way to reassure and encourage your daughter, I tell you.
My father underestimates me at times.
To my defense, freshman year was the time where I had to adjust a lot, and compete against fellow students who had gained better high school education than mine. But at that time, for a moment, I felt that I had made a bad decision in going to Ateneo. It was more difficult than I’ve expected, and I’m no longer one of the top dogs in school.
However, after a rough freshman year, I started to adjust myself to university life, and my grades started improving. I joined several organizations, and was especially active in one of them.
My proudest moment of my Atenean career was when I was elected as the president of this organization during my senior year.
Boy, was my dad proud.
He thought that I was going to lose the election!
Now, my dad is so proud that his daughter went to Ateneo.
To his chagrin, I didn’t graduate with honors (he gave me so much crap after that), but I managed to get into the Dean’s List several times, and was the president in one of the largest student organizations.
So was the decision good or bad?
In the end, going to Ateneo was the good decision.
Despite the difficulties I faced during my first few years in the institution, I continued to persevere and managed to perform quite well.
Now, if I failed my courses and gave up after that first year, going to Ateneo would’ve been the wrong decision.
So what makes a decision good or bad?
Too bad we’re not gifted with hindsight and know how our decisions would affect our future. Life would’ve been so simple then. All we need to do is choose the decisions that have more positive outcomes. 🙂
But we don’t have that.
So sometimes, all we need to do is just do it.
Weight the pros and cons, and just make the decision.
Then brace yourself for the outcome!