I can’t really fake what I feel. Despite what other people say, my emotions can clearly be seen in my face.

If I’m happy, I cannot help but laugh out loud.

If I’m sad, I cannot help but be bothered.

And if I’m angry, I cannot help but lash out to the next person I see, as grumpy as I can be. Once angered, I start my tirade of trying to understand why such thing happened and how it couldn’t happen again.

These days, I am not very happy with my brother. He has been biased against Boyfriend causing dark clothes to loom over our family. This is made especially worse by the fact that they work in the same industry, and yet my brother chooses to do his business separately despite incurring larger costs and effort.

Oh well – it could have been a lot better.

Do you know about the times when you try and try to get another person’s favor, and the other person chooses to ignore it? How many times do you try before you give up?

It’s how my Boyfriend feels about little brother. Despite efforts, my brother chooses to ignore him, so much that we’ve come to a happy status quo of not pansinan (to not pay attention to each other).

Which of course, creates tension.

And I am unhappy with the tension which I deem to be unnecessary. And of course, my emotions are very clear in my face, to the point that I have resorted to nonchalance. What’s the point of getting upset anyway for some thing you cannot control?

But negative emotions is never a good thing, and I pray and hope we can solve this issue very quickly.

Because as what the Bible said in Proverbs 18:19: “It’s harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars.”

I really don’t want the relationship between the two guys I love the most to be like a fortified city — closed off with no solution in sight. I know they are both good people, so I really hope they can work it out for my sake.