Dear Future Husband,

Given that we’re now together, it would be important for both of us to communicate our needs to each other. I daresay it may be challenging to actually look into ourselves and see what it is exactly that we’re looking for, and I do admit that my answers below make me feel uncomfortably naked right now but trust that you’ll handle the information with care.

If I may have a simple request however, I’d also like to know what your needs are.

Take your time, no rush. I don’t need the answers right now, but hope you can be as open as I am to you today when I do finally get to read it.

So here goes…

I WANT MORE…
– Attention: I need to know you are present, hopefully in body, but especially in spirit. That means getting rid of the evil Crackberry once in a while… –
Courage and tenacity to last: Nothing about the future is certain except that it will be tough. I need to know I am with someone strong enough, who cares enough, so that we can weather storms together.
– Depth: Who are you? It may be uncomfortable but I appreciate your honesty, openness and sincerity to let me see what others cannot. I want more of that.

EMOTIONAL
– Reassurance: I need to know that I am cherished. Desired. Wanted. And if I may dare say, loved. – Partnership for me is about support and sharing: one’s life, one’s joys, one’s successes, one’s pain. Being each other’s cheerleaders.
– Respect: To be seen as an equal.

PHYSICAL
– Generosity: to be sexually available and responsive to each other’s physical needs anytime, anywhere.
– Fearlessness: when exploring, experimenting and expressing affection for each other.
– Faithfulness: I may be giving but there are things I don’t share.
– Attractiveness: maintenance of one’s fitness and health.

SOCIAL
– Acceptance: there is no shame in appearing together in public.
– Admiration: from my partner and hopefully his family. He looks at me and he is proud.
– Understanding: Go wild at a party. Be solemn in a church. Professional in a meeting. The ability to be blend in any environment and act accordingly.

TACTILITY
– Affection: Touch is very important for me. Hugs. Kisses. Hand holding. Light caresses. Fingertips touching. Being embraced while sleeping, or at the least, being touched while lying in bed beside someone. Touching makes me feel safe, loved.

TRAVEL –
Companionship and someone to share experiences with: I like traveling to places I’ve never been at least twice a year. I like immersing myself in another culture, tasting a different type of cuisine and exploring how locals live. It would be wonderful to actually have someone to share these with.
– Flexibility: So what if the place is a dive? If it rains? When traveling, every day’s an adventure and I want to enjoy the trip and scenery, and not babysit someone else.
– Non-smoking rooms and king-sized beds: Don’t care too much about the view, but I do insist on the bed.

Yours, Bonita