To be honest, it confuses me as well.
Usually, the story goes like this.
Boy meets girl.
Boy gets attracted to girl.
Boy gets girl’s number and starts texting her.
Maybe even calls her home and chats with her at night. Note that this seems to be optional.
And then, asks her out on a date. Maybe they start in a group setting then moves to one on one.
They go out a handful of times. He tries to hold her hand but she seems shy. They seem to like each other.
And then, the dreaded question.
“I like you…” the guy nervously begins.
“Do you like me too?” he continues.
“Bonita,” my guy friend complains. “She should at least have said something back!”
“Like what?” I countered.
“Like, I like you too…!” he replied in utmost frustration.
Well guys, to tell you the truth…
Asking us women if we liked you too puts us on the spot.
Seeing you waiting for an answer makes us super nervous.
See, if we say yes, your heart would sing, but that would be too forward for us.
We don’t prefer it that you ask us whether we like you or not, and we excitedly answer an affirmative. Women kinda had to be a little more hard to get too.
If we say no because we don’t want to lead you on, your heart sinks to the floor and you leave with your tail in between. Umm… we don’t want to crush your hearts too.
Besides, most of the time when you’re asking us this question, we women are still on the fence.
Meaning, we do NOT dislike you.
But we aren’t sure if we really like you enough yet to be your girlfriend.
So we cannot really answer an affirmative because we don’t want to be exclusive YET. But we don’t want to say no because we’re not cold-hearted bitches and we still don’t know if we don’t want to NOT date you yet.
The safest answer people say is, “Maybe… give us time to think about it…”
But honestly, that starts the emotional timebomb. As soon as guys ask this question, the timer starts and we can’t make you wait for too long. Imagine waiting for an answer right? Especially this type of question — it’s terrible!
Anyway, we feel pressured to answer.
And if we get pressured, we usually take the easy way out, which is to demur and RUN!
We hate being put on the spot. We hate the stress and hassle of thinking whether we want to or not. We hate goosies.
I guess, if you asked me, I would prefer that the guys don’t ask.
Instead, try to hold our hand and try not to be friend-zoned.
Instead, try to kiss us. Make that courageous leap and try something daring and just do it. Kiss us!
If we allow you to kiss us, then keep low key. Drive us nuts into thinking, “Does he like me? I’ve kissed him — maybe he likes me. He must!”
Instead of you being driven crazy, let the woman wonder where the relationship is going. If you are dating exclusively. If you like HER.
So my advice?
Guys, just damnit, take the relationship to the next level.
If you fail the first time, just be confident enough to try again.
We women may hee and haw but trust me, if we like you, we will be tickled pink. Secretly of course.
My ex boyfriend asked me, “Would you be my girlfriend?”
Nope, he didn’t ask, “I like you — do you like me too?” He just took the plunge and asked us to date exclusively even though he was 95% sure I would say no.
A guy that courageous and sincere (well), who wouldn’t be touched?
My other ex boyfriend simply went into the room, loudly asked which one was Bonita among the slew of women working in that room (there were around six of us) and asked, “Hey Bonita, wanna have dinner with me tonight?!”
I didn’t even look up. He never even saw my face.
But I said, “Sure,” and with that, he did an about face and left the room.
When I looked up he was gone, and damnit, I didn’t even know what he looked like when I met him for dinner that evening. I was praying I wouldn’t say hi to the wrong guy (I found him).
That — courageous, confident moves — that my friends is the ones that would get the girl.
Not wishy washy “Ummm…do you like me?” questions.
Leave those for the kids.
As Russell Peter had said, “Be a man.”
And being a man, no matter who you are, gets the girl.
Trust me. 🙂