My mom can be quite conservative and traditional with her mindset and ever since I’ve told her about Trader, she has been very patient in teaching me the ways of the old-fashioned.
When I told her I didn’t want kids, she emailed me five times to tell me not to discourage Trader from being a dad because “guys as decent as him are so hard to find,” and this was even before she had met him.
When I told her that Trader and I had started talking about our finances together, she was ecstatic. “It really means that he’s very serious about you and is thinking of having a family with you.”
When I said that I wanted to get an MBA to increase my salary thus decreasing Trader’s financial burden of supporting me and the household (and thus keeping me financial independence), she has this to say — feel free to comment if you wish, but this mail has given me much to think about. To start, here was my email to her and following is her response:
“Dear mom,
What about getting an MBA and get a salary increase? Do you know that on average, MBA grads get around USD100,000 a year? Not bad la. Sigh, but if I do what Trader wants me to do, maybe income for me will be less than USD100,00 annually or what I make right now. If I have MBA, salary would definitely go up. Whatchathink?
Love, Bonita”
Her answer:
Bonita, what if you got your MBA, got a USD200,000 annual salary, then what?
For me, I would not dream of climbing up the career ladder if I can have a happy family, a good and trusted husband, children whom I can educated and give them all the love in this world, a business together with my husband to grow and grow and achieve and achieve.
To hell is the annual salary of whatever amount. If people pay me more that means to say that they can squeeze more out of my talent. So why should I work my life out for these people who pay me salary? Why can’t I and my husband try our best effort and earn the millions FOR OURSELVES.
Like your dad used to say, why you be working that hard for other people? Why not work FOR YOURSELF and YOUR OWN BUSINESS?
Being a professional is because you don’t have the connection, the talent, the ability, and the money to do business of YOUR OWN or of YOURS AND YOUR HUSBAND’S.
Remember Jason, dad’s friend who was already the country head for an I-Bank with a monthly salary of over (insert insane amount of money here) every month? And yet he gave up his position and come back home to WORK FOR THEIR OWN FAMILY BUSINESS.
Bonita, Trader is correct. after you got married, you should start something new together with Trader instead of working your life out for OTHER PEOPLE. DONT BE STUPID BONITA. What do you gain if YOU GAIN THE WORLD WORLD BUT LOST YOUR FAMILY AND HAPPINESS?
Money you don’t need. How about the money that you and Trader are going to earn together working AS A TEAM? I am sure that you should have the TRUST and CONFIDENCE that YES YOU TWO CAN ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL.
Soapbox off. Love, mom.
OH I SOOOOOO HAVE AN OPINION! i would never want my girlfriend/fiance to limit herself or her future togethor or apart. i work for a family business. it sounds great but reality is working with family becomes very personal. some relationship thrive this way, some really suffer. its not disagreeing about a work related decision and not take it personally. it is family after all, you cant just say , hell with it, its his but, im just an employee.
If you were already at a family business, sure you dont need a MBA for anything besides just having it. but today, you are not, you still have to keep as many options open as possible, getting an mba is just one way to support your family. (btw MBA’s in NYC working at an Ibank make 500k) i know 2 people at the HK citi office transferred from NYC with salaries above 400k annual and they are our (28) age. dont limit yourself or your family. if you decide to go into a family business, having an MBA does not hurt it can only help.
my 2 cents.
ac
I remember my mom telling me when I wanted to study in UST (because I’m from the province), she said why are you even bothering to apply in Manila universities kung dito lang naman bagsak mo (province).
Then another time I remember telling my mom I want to study MBA then sabi niya, why are you even bothering kung “nanay” lang bagsak mo.
I dunno, it’s either one or the other I guess. as I get older, the more I think about having kids and an MBA, parang wala na kwenta. BUT that is if you start your own business then work from there. But if you plan to work your way up the corporate ladder, then i guess MBA is an option.
But for me, I wouldn’t discourage my daughter to NOT take up MBA if she wants to. I wouldn’t want my daughter to be just a housewife and churn out kids and be old.
Well we make our own choices. My mom also said the same but it was just my stubbornness that I went for my MBA. Am glad I did – I think I may end up the same way but it’s kinda liberating to decide your own life. Plus, an MBA did open up several options for me like my internship. I think no matter what, an MBA is good at least for experiences sake. I really learned a lot about people in my program – it was an eye-opener to say the least. 🙂