I am usually quite careful when a man tells me over the first date, “I like you. I’ve wanted to ask you out even before I met you, and I want to continue to keep seeing you.”
Do you: a) run run away as fast as you can, b) nod your head, smile, call a cab when you get the chance or c) intrigued and stay to see how it ends up?
My first date with Guy X was a roller coaster ride — It’s quite rare when a guy knows what he wants and tells what he wants that he wants her right then and there.
It makes me remember Tarzans scenes where the big T sees Jane for the first time and says, “You Jane, Me Tarzan.” Then he proceeds to club her in the head and take her to his tent.
On the first time I went out with him, he immediately professed that he has been attracted to my personality ever since and without even knowing what I looked like (though it was a happy bonus) had wanted to ask me out on a date. In a world where wishy washy people allude to dates as hangouts in disguise, it was quite refreshing that anyone would be so clear as to indicate that what was happening is in fact, a date.
Which means that no, he doesn’t want you to think that he wants to be just friends. He wants to be more than friends and that’s that.
I was floored.
Being an indecisive yet exhausted Libran after a hard week’s work, I was quite surprised when he made such confession.
For one, a part of me would always think that this guy doesn’t even know you… how can he be interested in you so soon (call it insecurity if you may).
And second, the source was from someone I would never expect. (on one hand, I think that guys shoulds start thinking with their bigger heads than their little ones, but on the other, quite flattered as well).
Now this gentleman X did not really try anything on the first night nor on the second. The formula was the same — we met for a nice dinner, had flowing conversation straight till late evening and then hug each other goodbye in the hotel lobby. He went back to his hotel room, while I savored the comforts of my king-sized bed.
In a way, it was refreshing as usually, a man’s SOP is to take me to a nice dinner, have flowing conversation straight to late evening and then ask me up his room “to talk.”
On the third day when we were to return to our own countries, he SMSed me. “Admittedly, meeting three times is overkill, but I’d like to see you again before I leave. Do you have time for coffee?”
Yes, three times is indeed overkill, but circumstances made me forgive him. We were both traveling after all, and were both leaving that same afternoon bounded for different countries.
“I still want to see you,” he said. “I place the ball on your court. What do you think? Are you interested in continuing to see me as well?”
“The ball is never realy on my court,” I replied. “It’s not the job of a woman to pursue a man. If you kept in contact, then there would be some continuity. Otherwise, it would be thank you for a great week of nice dinners and see you again in the future.”
As a woman, despite my many opinions, have never really pursued a man. The most I’ll try is probably once, when afterwards, I’ll see whether he feels the same and move his end of a bargain. If he never called again, I wouldn’t stalk him and try to get him to call me back. “T’s fate,” I would say as I moved on to the next better man.
And there were many. 🙂
Though dateable guys came far in between, they did come and most were always better than the previous (thank you God!).
So if he didn’t continue the contact, then well, that’s fine.
But as we went back to our respective countries on Saturday, he texted me Sunday waking me up (damnit!). He continued to text me all throughout the day though personally, I find it difficult to imagine how long-distance relationships would be just full of SMS messages. And just in case you think I’ve been bitchy, I have not. Like playing tennis, every single time he volleyed the ball on my direction, I would hit it back.
Today, it was the same though work kept me busy all throughout the morning.
He emailed me on how I’ve been rendered speechless for the first time in my life. He asked why I haven’t been texting him back. “Maybe in your world, silence is golden.”
Ummmm…. I have to work dear.
Coming back from my week-long business trip, I was swamped with urgent requests and client demands from all fronts. Whereas it’s my lovelife or my livelihood, well, you already know where my priorities lay. It was impossible to be a love sick puppy when there’s so much work to do.
“How come you have the time to call and chat?” I teasingly admonished him in the afternoon. “Your boss surely is payin you a lot of money to waste time.”
He had called in the afternoon to ask me what an SMS message meant. I would think that’s just a big excuse to talk to me in the middle of the daytime! Argh.
Life is funny. When a guy’s being wishy washy, you complain that he’s being unavailable. However, when a guy is right in your face telling you that he likes you and if that he comes on too strong, well then that’s too bad because he’s just teling you how it is.
As a Libran woman, am pretty easy going and like to take it slow.
This guy has met and kept in contact over the last 5 days since I first met him.
Of course, he has yet to enter stalker territory, but still, in a way, such confident way of knowing how he feels about you do make me stop and think whether to give this guy a fighting chance. You wonder what he saw in you that made him pursue you so hard… or maybe it’s because you’ve been unsure yourself.
At present, my current strategy is que sera sera.
If he wants me, he can come and get me. The ball is in his court.
Unless he’s out of line, I will not push him away and discourage me. Nor will I unnecessarily encourage him. Until I know more about this guy, we’ll see how it goes.
Crossing my fingers that it works out.
I think that’s him just SMSing me asking me to consider going on a vacation with him somewhere.
Gotta go. Ciao lo and hope that your life is less tumulous than mine.
4 thoughts on ““Me Tarzan. You Jane.””
Ouch, that line about a woman not having the job of pursuing a man always manages to throw me into a fit of despair. Though if he expressed himself that clearly even on the first date, I guess that it was to his liking. He probably thinks you are just joking.
Speaking of which, “c” always sounds the most acceptable on both sides, as more options is always good. Have fun on your vacation! 😛
Hahaha, I didn’t think he even blinked. Usually, I never tell a guy that, but he’s still calling so guess he didn’t mind my honesty.
Btw DS, what do you mean of “C?” 🙂
Well, I meant “C” as “c) intrigued and stay to see how it ends up?”. But then again, I am a very optimistic person. Unreasonably optimistic in fact: I’d always be intrigued and stay, even if it meant a good chance of getting burned sometime later.
DS, every time someone interesting comes along, they say something that scares me and I usually run away. I usually regret it afterwards and by then, it’s too late.
So this time, I stay. I wait and see. Maybe like you, am also optimistic. But it’s mostly about waiting till the movie’s ending to see how it ends up. Who knows? The story may turn out to be pretty good, and you just didn’t know because you gave up on it too soon!