Hard Vs. Soft

There’s something different about you,” my friend Mikey observed.


“You GOT LAID, DIDN’T YOU?!” he accused.

WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAT?” I exclaimed. “How can you accuse me of such a thing?!”

“Well, you seem strangely mellow all of a sudden. There’s something different about you… A bit more relaxed, more laid-back. ” my climbing buddy cited.

Doesn’t mean I got laid,” I shot back as I prepared to climb the wall.


“I did go out with someone I really like though earlier this week, I admitted as I filled him with the 411 on what generally happened during the date. “We didn’t do anything though, but it was really nice.”

It’s strangeMike’s right.

Last week, I was different.

As if I was caught up in a dream and I was merely going through the motions. I felt calm, at peace, and was in a cloud for a few days.

It’s been awhile since anybody has affected me this way — and it came from a very unlikely source.

I won’t jinx myself from telling more until more really happens, but this has been a source of excitement, disappointment and aggravation the past week.

So let’s see how everything plays out, shall we?


I kinda get it now.

I usually see myself as this woman with a strong personality, more of, “I am woman — here me ROAAAAAAAAR!”

When dates don’t go right, I blame it on the men: “They are just intimidated! They can’t handle a quality woman like me! At the very least, I should hold out for a guy who can appreciate a woman like me.”

I get it now.

This mindset is just WRONG.

Look ladies, there’s nothing wrong with having this mindset and that’s what girlfriends tell you when you’re single and heart-broken. “It’s not you — it’s them.”

When are we women going to take responsibility — or at least half of it — for our actions?

Have you ever noticed? Whenever I ask my guy friends what they like in a woman, they never cite somebody who is successful in their career, rakes in the big bucks, have a strong personality…

They do however appreciate a woman who is confident, who can pay every now and then (e.g., not a gold digger) and has an interesting personality that holds their interest.

Do you see the difference?

They want their women to hold their own — but not at the expense of demeaning men.

Unfortunately, women nowadays have this skewed idea that to push their feminist-nity, they have to show their strong side. “No no, don’t pay… LET ME PAY!” they insist.

They prevent men on how to be men by insisting that they can do everything themselves. “No, why should I let a guy (insert action here) if I can do it myself?”

True… I mean, I can buy my own food, open my damn own pickle jar and don’t need a guy for everything. Heck, even from the sitcom Sex and the City, why find a man if you have a rabbit at home to keep you satisfied?

Have you ever thought though… by insisting of doing everything ourselves, are we not giving men the opportunity to show their manliness?

And then we complain why men nowadays are not being men…

And then complain that we intimidate men… and so, they’re not worth it.

But then again, we don’t give the opportunity to be men.

Men I meet nowdays are like little kids. They are dying for the chance to be men — only if we let them.

I am not talking about acting like puny useless women, WOMEN! So stop bitching about it.

I am however, asking women to let men to be men.


Admit it, don’t tell me that for once, you want to peel away your masks of invincibility, and one day be babied for once in your life…

We spend so much time being strong, that we see being soft as weak. We feel that we are only strong when we wear power suits and lash out at others with a sharp tongue.

However, I feel that a woman is strong when she’s exhibiting her femininity.

It comes in wearing a dress because it makes her beautiful, and knowing she looks good makes her feel more confident about herself…

It’s about being knowledgeable in many topics to make you a great conversationalist, but not dominating enough for people to think you’re pushing their opinions down their throat…

It’s about letting men pay for that date, open that door for you, get you stuff from the grocery… not because you can’t do it… but because sometimes, you know strength comes in giving way. And if he’s happy to do it, so should you…

Forgive me for being sentimental, but I kinda get it now.

It’s okay to be soft — to be vulnerable — with the one you love, because it’s tiring to keep up this mask of steel day in and day out. It’s okay to be babied and pampered once in a while.

And to do so, doesn’t necessarily make us weak.

But rather, it allows us to be truer to ourselves.

And who doesn’t want that? 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Hard Vs. Soft

  1. Hey hey hey!
    Were here,not everyone is that competetive as u think. Nurse ur other and urself.

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