About a Boy

I think I’m very lucky where I am right now.

Last night, I was talking to my friend FL, who after 6 years in this Formosan Island, has finally decided to pack her bags and leave Taiwan in July.

Whhhhhhhy???!” I asked.

Well, for various reasons,” she said. “Mainly, I am already 35 years old and have yet to reach a work/life balance. And besides, of all the 6 years I’ve been here, I”ve always been single, and my body clock’s ticking. I don’t think Taiwan’s the best place to find a mate.”

I could kinda understand — it’s been 4 years since I’ve arrived in this teeny-tiny island, and like her, I’m still single… though at present, at a different place than she is.

So what’s wrong with being single?” I cheekily replied. “Being single means you get more productive, and besides, it’s fun!”

Hahaha, it seems that my recent run-in with another Mike has changed my formerly sour mindset when it comes to my love life. I’m turning into that optimist which hops in a tune and sings on her way home.

Anyway, being single is great. First, summer’s coming up soon and I can’t wait to head down to the beach in a bikini without anybody to answer to. Maybe it’s because it’s kinda spring (as the weather still rains now and then), so time signals new beginnings and I just can’t wait to see what life is going to bring me next.

Secondly, with work and my volunteer activities, I really don’t have time to devote to one single guy. It’s kinda nice to take a step back and let the guys do the work and try to prove that they’re worth your time. Indeed, you are more productive and I spend a lot of time by myself, studying, working out or doing something useful for once.

And lastly, maybe it’s because am still too young to not be that desperate yet, but am at the point of my life where I ask myself, “Why should I get into a relationship unless the guy’s worth my time?” instead of bemoaning “Why am I still single?”

Maybe relationships are a habit — you get used to being with somebody else that it’s hard to imagine being alone. However, after a period when you are indeed truly alone, you get comfortable with the solitude and actually do your darnest to protect your privacy.

Or maybe, given the options surrounding me nowadays, it’s great to be an outsider and make a rational choice instead of settling because he’s the only one there.

I must admit I’m rambling, but I just can’t help but be excited that spring is almost here!

And experience tells me that with spring comes new beginnings!!!

Sometimes, Taiwan puts a damper in a Western woman’s self-esteem. Correct me if I’m wrong but it ain’t no boost to one’s ego where you spend your life being smart and building up your personality, only to lose to la-mei shiao jie (Taiwanese spice girls) who look cute and act like a girl.

But then again, who said attraction was based in brains and personality? It’s like us women admitting that we like guys because they’re smart and are easy-to-get-along with. Usually, we fall for the mystery and the badness.

Sigh, I’m not really making sense right now, am I?

Am usually this blumbering idiot when I’m content with where my life is — I usually write better blog entries when I’ve just had my heart broken.

But it’s been nice so far. Everyday brings nice surprises inside my inbox and it’s great to feel very special once in a while.

To what do I owe my temporary happiness and kilig factor?

Well, let me let you in on a little secret — it’s a song called Born Slippy, which brings back good memories and a smile to my face.

It’s about that person who sends me this song, and who somehow thinks the world of me — putting me atop this pedestal after a few hours together, that I oftentimes doubt whether the goddess he embodies in his mind is me after all.

It’s about the time where for once, I let myself lose control after being so uptight — thus ruining almost every chance that I come across in the love department. It happened with Aussie guy and my first boyfriend, and I still am nmot sure if I’ve learnt my lesson yet, but we shall see.

It’s about second chances, or at least, the impression of a second chance.

It’s about allowing myself to dream and romanticize what could’ve been, and what may become — despite not being able to gratify myself immediately (as they say, good things come to those who wait).

It’s about being the passive person for once, letting myself step back and letting someone else lead me to the dance floor. It’s about stopping being the strong person in a partnership, and loosing myself in a stronger person’s embrace.

It’s about the best kiss that I’ve ever had. EVER.

It’s about pleasant surprises when I get home that totally makes my day after hectic, toxic hours of work.

It’s about being myself — and being adored and respected for it.

It’s about being crazy and impractical, of being sermoned by my best girlfriend for being happy because the whole thing seems soooo unpredictable. “There’s no hope,” she said. “Forget it.”

It’s about not being a party pooper and still continuing on even if there is no hope, because it’s just so fun and nice. “I feel good,” I happily replied. “Who cares if there’s no hope?”

It’s about not having the care in the world, of not really worrying where and what the future brings and just savoring the feeling of it.

It’s about a boy… who was part of my past, and for some reason, came forth in the present, giving hope to the future.

And it’s because of this boy that for this present moment, I am content.

Have a good night!

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