I just had a fight with my best friend, Mike today.
Okay, it was my fault.
We had plans to meet at the Nanshijiao MRT at 2PM, go to Shifen, see the waterfalls, and then stay overnight maybe in Jiufen.
However, last night, I partied almost the whole night, slept at 6AM due to having coffee and great, stimulating conversation at Swensens, woke up at 10AM (after 4 hours of sleep) for a lovely Citizen Cain brunch at 11AM which lasted till 2PM (my friend was having problems and I was lending a listening ear, in addition to not having seen this friend for a long while).
Yes, it was my fault for allowing the conversation to have lasted that long. Mike anyway, I had thought, was at home, and if I was in the same position, I would’ve understood, kept myself busy with tidying up my place or watching TV, whatever suits my fancy.
But I forget.
Most people are not like me… who can keep myself preoccupied while waiting.
So I left brunch later than expected, got delayed by waiting too damn long on the bus, and subsequently pissed Mike off.
His text this afternoon: “I am tired of your constant selfishness, don’t want to deal with it anymore. Thanks for ruining my weekend.“
Remember the time when I also partied the entire weekend because good friend Perry was going back to the States and unintentionally missed Mike’s National Palace Museum tour ’cause I woke up half an hour late?
Boy, was he pissed… so pissed that he didn’t talk to me for 2 weeks, and it was only later that I managed to get ahold of him, and resolve the issue by treating him to dinner.
Mind you, I had apologized once, but Mike felt that if I was REALLY sorry, I would’ve grovelled at his feet, incessantly apologized until his ego was satisfied. “It was your fault, Raven,” my friend Maryn said. “You should do all you can to show you’re sorry.“
I think it’s an Asian thing that when you do someone wrong, you should grovel till you run out of spit, show how really sorry you are until they forgive you.
Otherwise, in Mike’s case, you get the Silent Treatment, and to a person who values communication even during times of crisis, that really sucks.
“You have to wait till they cool down,” Mark said. “It’s not worth losing a best friend over. You’ve guys been friends since forever, through thick and thin… why blow this small issue out of proportion?”
I’ve alrady said my sorries. How much sorries do you want to show you how sorry I am?
But Mike is different — He likes you to SHOW just how sorry you really feel, and that entails a lot of calling, apologizing and yeah, begging for forgiveness would be nice.
God, he sounds like a woman sometimes.
This time, Mark’s at Mike’s side: “You screwed up. You make it up to him. Don’t really matter if you call him up a million times, you were in the wrong… so you do your best to show him you’re sorry. Swallow your stubborn ego a bit.“
Aussie guy called up later and advised, “Fuckin’ oath! You’ve already apologized twice. How much more does he need? Anything more than that to appease his ego is childish, and I don’t really have time for childishness.”
My girlfriend was just apologetic. She just found herself a new man and couldn’t really listen.
Yes, I’m in the wrong, and I’ve already apologized.
But it’s so ma-fan to make up. 🙁
And even if I did finally make it up to him, Mike remembers so much, he’s almost as worse as my dad. My dad remembers when I was 11 years old and mistakenly plugged his 110W-air freshener into a 220W socket.
When you have a black mark in the black book, he always remembers.
It’s been getting worse lately.
He shouts at me, unconsciously calls me names sometimes, and god, he doesn’t really make me feel good about myself. He already believes that I’m super selfish that everything I do has an ulterior motive. For example, last night, when I called him and let it ring for a while, he didn’t return my call because he said, “That’s who you are Raven, you give me a missed call so I’ll call you back. Not anymore.”
Damnit Mike, if you answered your phone faster, it wouldn’t be a missed call, wouldn’t it? And the phone rang more than 5X.
Or picking a restaurant that’s “more convenient for you.” This came when he insisted on Pizza Hut when I clearly didn’t want to eat Pizzas because I want to lose more weight.
As they say, when a relationship goes bad, everything goes wrong. Even the little things will irritate you, and in our friendship, this is SO much the case. 🙁
Maybe it’s becoming a toxic friendship already.
Yes, I am in the wrong, but I have enough with his emotional outbursts! Everytime something bad happens, he totally blows it out of proportion and shouts at me, to the point when I sometimes want to shout, “Enough, not even my dad shouts at me like that!”
When is enough, enough guys?
Again, I am in the wrong. But don’t you think he is just a tad over-reacting?
And I quote Mark again by saying, “That’s the thing, when you really care for someone, you get hurt even more. Imagine how hurt Mike is?”
Yeah, but is this the only way we can resolve this?
How much more PMS should I take? Mind you, this is not the first time we’ll piss each other off, will he subject me to the silent treatment every single time?
Aiyo, guys can be really mafan.
Positive and negative comments appreciated. 🙁