Everytime I feel that I am free, living away from my parents in Taipei, something happens that reminds me that I am NOT free, and I’m still under the control of my dad.

I wanted to go to Australia later this month to attend my friend’s wedding. I asked before, but they told me not to go because my friend couldn’t take me around.

*For some reasons, most Chinese families tend to go visit countries where they can stay free at a friend’s place and friends can take them around. I think it has something to do with being kuripot (spendthrifts).

Being the persistent woman I am, I asked again yesterday. This time, I came armed with more information, and even had friends studying there who can take me around. I was optimistic that they’ll let me go this time.

Unfortunately, the real reason of them not allowing me to go finally surfaced — when my parents visited Sydney earlier this year, because of her busy schedule, my friend couldn’t even take the time to meet with them. My father took this as a huge insult and feels that my friend is looking down at us. Hence, he doesn’t want me to participate in her wedding.

I felt bad after receiving the news not because I wasn’t allowed to go to Sydney. I felt bad because even as I’m turning 25 next week, I realize that my parents still have a big say on what I do.

Which makes me wonder… what does life hold for me?

My mom genuinely misses me and wants me to come home and take care of financial affairs. But the thought of being stuck in a golden cage again scares the daylights out of me. I can handle stubborness in rare moments like these, but to deal with my dad’s dominant control over his family 24/7?!

NO F*CKING WAY.

And my parents wonder why I don’t want to go home…

Geez.

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Given my circumstances, I’ve recently spent a lot of time with close friends. Their presence has given me the comfort I need and I am very thankful for that. There’s nothing like good friends to remind you how valuable and deserving you are…

My birthday’s coming up next week. It’s on the 16th.

My tentative plan is to have an intimate dinner on the 14th with just my closest friends, and going to an amusement park in Taichung on the 15th. I remember it was almost exactly a year ago when I was depressed and my Japanese friends took me to Ye-Mei. Boy, that really cheered me up BIG TIME!

I’m hoping it’s possible again the second time around… and help me snap out of the semi-gloomy state that I’ve been in recently.

The only question is, most of my close friends don’t like each other right now. But they’d have to behave during my dinner… it IS after all my birthday and I can damn invite anyone I want.

They’d really better behave…

Long weekend ahead. Freaking boring. Till then!

C’est La Vie.