Just finished watching, “Saved!” the other day and it was a pretty cool movie. It reminded me of the time when I used to go to church regularly — and why I stopped going a year after I arrived in Taiwan.

Don’t get me wrong, and don’t tell me I’d go to hell because I know God. Being raised in a Christian environment, I was put to Sunday school ever since I was little. I guess, that’s what having an Auntie who was a missionary could do that to you. By the time I was in elementary, I knew the Bible like the back of my hand.

Before I left the Philippines, I sung at the praise and worship choir. I was an active member in fellowship, and yes, I went and taught in the Daily Vacation Bible School (DVBS), a program so popular with young kids. And lastly, I was lucky that my parents permitted to send me to Christian camp for a summer.

Trust me, everyone at school thought I was the perfect Christian.

Little did they know that I had doubts about my faith.

Was it really that easy to be saved? All you need to do was ask Christ to come into your heart and that was IT?

Personally, I didn’t really know if I was saved or not. But I would regularly accept Jesus Christ into my heart just to be sure.

I knew I love him, and I believe in Jesus *and yes Michael, you can laugh in knowing that I’m a religious geek*. But like any other girl, I had doubts. And I studied the Bible fervently and did good deeds somehow justifying that I was fit to be admitted in heaven.

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Some excerpts from the movie:

Patrick: Do you wanna go out sometime? I’m like, totally adorable.
Mary: Oh, I’m not dating right now.
Patrick: What about tomorrow? Will you be dating then?

Mary: So everything that doesn’t fit into some stupid idea of what you think God wants you just try to hide or fix or get rid of? It’s just all too much to live up to. No one fits in one hundred percent of the time ? Not even you.
Pastor Skip: I know that, Mary.
Dean: I know in my heart that Jesus still loves me.
Mary: Why would God make us all so different if he wanted us to be the same?

Pastor Skip: I think the Christian thing to do would be to let them stay. Hilary Faye: The Christian thing to do? I have been doing the CHRISTIAN THING my whole life! I did not have sex with a gay and try to blame it on Jesus!
Mary: Hilary Faye…
Hilary Faye: Oh, shut up, you fornicator!
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That’s why this movie struck a cord in me.

It showed me the realities on Christian churches nowadays.

If you’re in, all’s fine and dandy. You were part of a cliche, a club where people would love and welcome you to their circle. I remember at one church, people who were part of the choir was labelled “cool,” while those who weren’t really behaving were “delinquents” and “bad news.“

However, people had a strict policy on who were or were not part of this cliche.If you didn’t fit the type which they find to be acceptable, you’re out. Worse, everyone outside from the circle on what Christians would deem unacceptable, are labelled to be “lost” or “unsaved.”

Hence, homosexuals were dirty, freaks of nature. Women who lost their virginity were sluts for not waiting. People who went clubbing are loose and bad news. Those who got pregnant before they got married were stupid and bad kids.

When did we start being so self-righteous?!

Every time I hear the words, they’re “saving” them, I think in reality, they’re saying, “so glad I’m not you.”

Don’t you agree that a lot of Christians can be so self-righteous and cruel?! We’ve always had this behavior, manifested since time immemorial. I think it makes us feel better when other people are doing worse.

That’s the “so glad I’m not you” mentality right then and there. This is a human flaw that manifests itself now and then.

Sure, we’re not technically laughing at them. But we pity them. And I think this is wrong.

Because as Christians, our job is supposed to love those that are lost, even if it means supporting them if they do not choose the path that we want for them.

What’s funnier is that when Jesus was in earth, he didn’t hang around with the holies. Instead, he hung around with the sinners, broke bread with them and spent time with them.

That’s what Christianity is all about.

Not the hypocritical religion we often see in church. You know, those who say one thing and do another?

Bah.

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I sometimes blame the church for bringing my father away from God.

If my father goes to hell, it’s his fault. Because he’s a sinner. But some so-called Christians helped.

My father saw devoted deacons in church borrow millions of pesos and escaped to the United States.

My father saw pastors who would embarrass him into donating more money into the church fund. Trust me, most pastors do get a LOT friendlier once they know how big you’re contribution is to the offering.

Don’t be holier than though and say you have no hand it it! That’s bullsh*t.

As for me? Why haven’t I gone in the past year and a half?

Almost the same reasons as my dad.

Laziness is one. I would be the first to admit that I’m too lazy, that I couldn’t be bothered.

Secondly, I do not approve of those who go to church and think they’re better than everyone else.

Two Christian friends of mine used to share the room with me for two weeks.

They had no home so I offered them a room to stay.

I’d hear them talk about a fellow Christian who backslided because she would sleep with her boyfriend regularly.

“Vicky has backslided. She lost sight of God,” they’d tell each other. “We’d have to get her back to the fold and bring her back to Jesus.“

And this is what irks me the most.

They’d continue saying, “Good thing we’re not like that anymore. Before, we were lost, but now we have Jesus… we know the right path.”

There you go — that holier-than-thou attitude.
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I’m sure most of you would say these are just human nature. These people are just exceptions of the rule and the church is a warm, loving place.

*shakes my head*

No, thank you. I’ve been to several churches and it’s all the same.

I’d rather be with sinners who know that they have sinned, than with hypocrites that claim they are Christians.

So there, what do you think? Do you agree with me or not? I’d really appreciate your comments. Till tomorrow!

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I watched Tim Burton’s “Corpse Bride” yesterday. Sad to say, I was disappointed. My boyfriend gave it a 3/4 out of 10.

It was well made with accompanying music… but something was missing.

Oh well, see it at your own risk. And please do give me more input about my spark entry. I’d really want to know.