Where has our world coming to?!
Last week, I posted an entry about not knowing whether someone is interested in you or not… Today, I’m writing about already knowing that a person is interested.
A guy friend gave me a quick call a few days ago.
He sounded excited. He has just gotten off his MSN conversation with this American woman. After spending a day together with friends, both have started to communicate via MSN, and had just confessed that their “interest” for each other.
Subsequently, he asked her out for a date.
“Don’t you know how great it feels to feel that you’re attractive to someone?!” he almost shouted. “You finally found someone who’s interested in you because she finds you hot! Not because you called all the shots and pursued her.”
I smiled and teased him, “So what are you going to do on your date?”
“Well, I’ll meet her at Sogo and we’ll eat around the area,” he replied. “Then, we’ll go to Taida University where I’ll give her a backrub. It’s quite secluded there.”
“Why not just go to Sun-Yat Sen Memorial Hall so it’s nearer,” I suggested. “That place is romantic. Or, you can also go to Chang-Kai Shek Memorial Hall.”
“Nope, Taida is better,” he retorted. “I know this dark, secluded place where you can make out.”
Then comes to surprise question…
“Should I bring a condom?” he casually asked.
Where is this world coming to?!
Okay, fine, so I’m such a prude.
So sue me.
But seriously, how can you be so cocky to kinda assume that your first date would end up with both of you having sex?
I tried to imagine how awkward it would be.
Okay, fine… assuming that you do get hot and heavy (I’m not naïve enough to assume people don’t have sex on their first date), how will you approach it?
If you’re too embarrassed to bring out the condom, you’ll run the risk of having a little bundle of joy (aka “happy accident“) nine months hence and ruin everything you’ve worked for.
And probably marry her in a shotgun marriage.
If you cockily whip out the condom, the girl gets embarrassed because it shows that you’re used to it before, and you have had the assumption that you’re going to have sex that night.
She probably thinks that you think she’s a slut now.
I asked another guy friend how he would go about it. He found the dilemma to be funny, yet admits that yes, the situation is awkward.
“Hmmm… you probably get the girl so hot and heavy that she doesn’t even know that you’re popping that baby [condom] and BAM! Dilemma solved!”
But my guy friend has his own ideas, which I admit is a good solution.
“Well, I just won’t bring a condom then,” he sighed. “If she wants to do it, she’ll ask me and we’ll do it in my apartment where I have condoms.”
That’s a good solution. Instead of just going with the moment, you take it slower and see where it goes. And if ever you guys do it, it’s because she wants to.
Okay, I’m not promoting premarital sex here. Nor am I saying it’s wrong.
I think we’re old enough to realize that the world is usually not black or white anymore… it’s usually gray.
If you can save “it” till marriage, good. If you can’t, that’s good too so long as you know what you’re doing.
But one thing I agree on, I personally still think that sex on the first date is unhealthy if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
The logic being, because you’ve only spent 3 to 8 hours getting to know each other before your first intimate moment, it’s inevitable for the guy not to think you’re easy, or has done it before with other men. It’s doubtful that he’s going to take you seriously.
“Dude, no matter what you say,” said Mike. “He’s never going to believe you’re doing it just ’cause he’s a special case or ’cause you’re just going with your feelings.”
Sure, in the US, a lot of married couples started by having sex on the first date. The passion and chemistry were just too much that they couldn’t help themselves.
But these are more of the exception, than the rule.
At the very least, let the guy get to know you a little bit more before you jump in bed with him.
And it’s not very uncommon to find guys who quickly lose interest after the “WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU MA’AM!” deed.
And you’re left in asking yourself, “What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he like me?”
Girl, nothing’s wrong with you.
It’s just that guys do like a bit of challenge in their women.
They don’t really want their girlfriend to be the type to jump into bed with any Tom, Dick or Harry at the flick of the hand.
At least, they want to know you’re only willing to do it with someone special.
And as they literally and metaphorically say, easy come, easy go.
So though it hurts, make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into when you jump in bed with a total stranger.
And please, do use protection.
Life’s too precious to screw up in a matter of a few hours.