Welcome to my worst nightmare.

I have become one of those moms who…

…Post constant and annoying updates about their offspring. 

It has come to this: Almost all of my status updates on Facebook and Instagram are about my daughter. 

Whaaatt?! I simply find her cute and I want to record the moment for posterity. 

But I acknowledge the updates can be annoying. It’s just that life is hard and boring, and babies don’t remain cute for long, so yeah, shoot me.

…Who bring their kids to restaurants and sometime in the middle of the meal, the baby fusses and makes some noise…

I have to eat too, and since I exclusively breastfeed, baby comes with us. 

Only those with babies can sympathize when you have to calm a fussing baby midway through the meal.

But yeah, parents with crying babies are always annoying. Can’t they just keep them at home?

But now, I’m one of them. 

Sorry restaurant patrons. I will just try my best to ignore your annoyed look and eat my meal quickly so we can go and you can have your peace.

…Who talk and brag about their kid all the time…

And what’s not to brag? Little kiddo could somehow walk at four months! And says “Daddadadadahhhdahhh” at 8 months!

Sure, two months advanced in terms of milestones is not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but yeah, I’ve morphed into my greatest nightmare, a doting mom who falsely believes her baby is overly cute, smart and charming.

Yes, I am aware that she’s probably not going to be an Olympic athlete, a charmismatic popstar or a future Elon Musk or Albert Einstein. In all probability, she should come out average. But I join gazillion of mothers who believe her kid is one of THOSE. Those people who make a mark in the world.

One can hope right? 🙂

…Who spends more shopping on her kids….

I got tons of useless junk.

Onesies of different colors, many of which she’s already outgrown.

Educational wooden toys she won’t likely touch till she’s over two.

A baby helmet which she hates. We laugh anyway whenever she wears it.

Noise cancelling headphones for infants, like Baby Phelp’s, so as to ensure a more peaceful afternoon nap.

Expensive baby toys she’ll probably forget about once she reaches one.

Hundreds of children’s books even though she still can’t talk, let even read.

Yes, mothers are one of the most gullible buyers in the world. And I’m not the worst of the lot. And still, look at all the junk I’ve bought.

*big sigh*

…Who unprofessionally brings her kid to work…

Yes, I am aware she is a distraction. And I used to get more shit done before she was born. I was on fire then.

But I can’t just leave her at home with the maid. Husband and I made a quiet pact to bring our baby everywhere with us, so here we are — with a crying baby in the afternoons, with a staff who is good enough to understand where we are coming from.

But yes, I know how unprofessional it is, and I know I’m one of the lucky few who can get away with it.

…Who Join Mommy Groups and Actively Comment as if I’m the most doting mother in the world.

Shhhh… Actually, there are tons of better mothers than I am.

I just birthed my daughter and feed it. It’s actually my husband who deserves the Great Daddy award, thanks to the fact that there are a gazillions of better, hands on mommies out there, while most husbands usually stay in the background and let the women handle the baby.

But hubby changes the diapers and bathes our child. He plays with her so I can have some peace and quiet with the iPad. And when I’m too tired and dozes off to sleep, he makes sure baby is still alive and somehow will doze later safely in between us. 

So admittedly, I’m not a great mother in a way that my husband is an amazing father. 

But I still comment on mommy blogs. 

I talk about my experience with Babywearing, hiring nannies, dealing with pesky in-laws and how to not kill your child.
It’s a great community. 

To be honest, I enjoy browsing through the threads too. You learn a lot of useless stuff that may be useful later on such as how to care for sick children, how to tell your maid she has bad odor and how to arrange birthday parties for cheap.

They can be the most annoying and the sweetest. 

And I’ve become one of them. Sigh.

…Who lets her baby do whatever she wants. Even though it may not be 100% safe or hygienic and may cause her to be spoiled later on.

Baby grabs my PC. Here, have a Stabilo highlighter to chew on…

It hasn’t been sterilized yet or wiped with alcohol but hey, what doesn’t kill you make you stronger!

She drops her cookie on the floor. You pick it up and give it to her again. Germs are fine and I just did clean the floor last Sunday.

Husband gives her iced tea. She is not allowed iced tea. I let him do it because a few drops of sweet tea will not cause long-term damage. I hope she doesn’t become obese when she grows up.

She co-sleeps with us every night. She sleeps soundly and wakes up in the morning when we wake. So much for me bragging that we will have her sleep in the crib and sleep train her.
…Who cannot bear seeing her baby cry.

Babies can be the most manipulative little people. 

She cries and I pick her up. 

She stops crying. 

Now she cries whenever she sees me. 

And she is extra naughty when I am there. 

She is better behaved when she’s just with Yaya.

Hmmm… I think I missed a memo on how to discipline my child. I am a softie after all. 

…Who will probably die for her kid.

I told my husband that in the case of a sinking ship, he should save me first before our offspring.

And if he can only save one, to save me.

“Save me first,”  I said. “We can make another kid anyway.”
This was before I gave birth.

Now, the answer is still the same. But I think realisitically, if our little baby was taken away from us, we will be crushed.

Logically, we’ll still be fine, but realistically, I will be hit harder than my husband.

“No parent should ever see their kid be buried before them,” people always say. 

I used to laugh at that. 

But that’s right.

Now that we have our little pea in our arms, now that we see her smile and cry and interact with us, how can we bear it?

How can we bear to lose her?

So in the end of the day, I’ve turned into a sucker too. I’ve turned into my worst nightmare: a mother who makes her kid her world and (still) find it cute despite the many annoying things that it does.

Who would’ve known?

Have a great week everyone!