A friend of mine told me once when I was complaining with a suitor, “You’re just giving him a hard time because you don’t like him enough.”

“That’s not true!” I said. “I’d like him if he just wasn’t soooo….. irritating.”

What irritates me?

Guys who ask you out at the last minute.

Guys who tell me about their problems.

Guys who touch me unnecessarily.

Guys who pat me on the head.

Guys who keep you waiting for a confirmation.

Last night, I had a non-date with a guy who did all this.

He asked me out at noon.

Once confirming my availability, he couldn’t confirm on the time because he was at a client meeting. At 6:00 pm, he mails me that he’s unsure when he can get out, so IF he doesn’t finish in time, we can still do drinks.

He mentions Burma, and that he was there when he broke up with someone a long time ago.

He goes back to work, taking a conference call on our walk back.

Calls me at freaking midnight asking me to take a walk with him.

Pats me on my hair, lightly hits me on the shoulders and later on, plays with my hair.

Doesn’t call to ensure I get home safe even though it was around 1:40 am!

Then, why am I attracted to the man? And strongly so.

I honestly don’t know yet what he wants — has he asked me out as a way of thanking me, or because he is mutually interested as well.

Sure, he likes to touch me, but then again, there’s a lot of guys who do. Would anybody say no if the milk is free?

Fortunately, it was getting late and there was work tomorrow.

I gave him a hug — and another — before leaving.

My friend is right, “When you like someone, we’re way more forgiving.”

And yes, I like him enough.

But does he reciprocate, and where the heck will this ever lead?

I’d like to hold back more and protect my heart from getting hurt again. Hopefully, I have enough self-discipline to maintain control as I observe this man.

God, he is sexy. 🙁

It has been awhile since I’ve been attracted to someone this way.

SO STOP IT. STOP THINKING ALREADY!

Sigh, hello disappointment.