*This has been taken from the Raven Archives, dated November 30, 2005. God, can’t believe that it’s been a couple of months, and I still have the same problem! 🙁
“Why are women SO bitchy?” I bemoaned as I was talking to my colleagues over lunch this afternoon.
“You see, I need to go abroad by this December, and a guy friend told me that Vivian and her friends are going to Cambodia on the 10th,” I explained. “After I contacted her, she merely sent me a link and told me to check out the information myself.”
“I don’t think she really wants me to go,” I continued. “Of course, if it was back in the Philippines, people will give you the red carpet treatment and help you as much as possible. But here, it seems that it’s fine if you go, and fine if you don’t. I don’t feel welcome at all!”
“Well, maybe you just have high expectations,” says Ben (name changed). “Here in Taiwan, people aren’t like that… they don’t treat strangers very well.”
“First of all, I’m not a stranger,” I said. “We know each other from the organization. But at least, people here should know the meaning of the word, ‘hospitality.'”
“Back in the Philippines,” I persisted. “People are so warm and friendly. They’ll go through far lengths to make you feel welcome. It’s just sad that a lot of people here in Taiwan aren’t like that.”
Okay, it’s official — for the most part, girls and I don’t really mix well together.
Especially here in Taiwan, where women already have their cliques.
It’s like an exclusive club… If you’re not part of their clique, you’re out and invites are limited.
Often times, I don’t give the right impression to women.
My friend Mike told me last weekend, “Dude, seriously… the first time all of my girl-friends saw you, they immediately didn’t like you. They think you’re shallow and fake.”
“Why don’t they like me?!” I practically screamed.
“I don’t know… they think you’re fake because you’re too happy all the time. You’re too outgoing and too shallow… What’s up with that?!” he bemoaned. “You women judge each other instantly. You’re like cats with claws!”
To which I replied, “Well, what’s your opinion on this?”
“Well, when I first met you, I too thought you were fake because no one can be that happy all the time,” he replied. “I thought you were taking drugs or something…”
“Now?” I inquired with glaring eyes.
“Jeez, I found out this is the real you and you ARE happy and cheerful all the time,” he said as he threw his hands in the air. “It’s so insane!”
My friend Karen says that it’s because women see me as competition and they get their claws out when they meet competition.
And I’m like, “What are they so jealous about? I’m not going to steal their boyfriends or anything! I’m just being myself! I mean, you like me… right?!”
To which Karen replied, “Sigh, I like you because I see you as just a friend. We’re not competing for anyone.”
“But for them, every time you’re there, you’re competition,” she continued. “And they don’t like that.”
Well, it also helps that my super-close girlfriends and I aren’t interested in the same types of guys… we seem to attract and are attracted to different types of men.
So girls and I don’t mix very well.
“I don’t get it,” Mark told me one day. “Women to women working together don’t work. There’s always tension out there…. The best is when men and women working together.”
Geez, why can’t we sisters all get along?!
I was telling my colleagues that I needed an interest buddy.
Problem is, women don’t really like to hang out with me… while men think I’m hitting on them if I call them and ask them to go out with me because I need a companion.
“Geez guys, it would be nice if someone can go with me to the Living Room this Saturday evening to watch this great workshop performance,” I moaned.
“Problem is, guys think I’m interested when I call them up!” I complained. “They’re like, ‘You know I’m seeing someone…'”
“Sheesh, am not interested in them,” I continued. “I just want someone to accompany me to that damn play and as much as possible, I don’t want to go there alone!”
My colleagues all laughed.
“My gosh Raven, you’re so much like Carrie from Sex and the City,” Ivan (not his real name) commented. “You know what? You need a ‘Stanford!'”
“Yeah, a Stanford! A gay friend!” Ivan replied. “That way, guys won’t think you’re hitting on them and they’ll be more than happy to go out with you!”
Here’s my current dilemma: I want to go traveling to Penghu, but I can’t find anyone to go with me. It’s also a matter of finding someone I feel safe enough with to travel with me.
I have no qualms whatsoever with traveling with men, so long as 1) They’re clear that they don’t try anything silly unless they wanted their hands cut off, and 2) They realize that my asking them would give them the right to assume that I’m interested and want something more.
That’s difficult though.
As Mike told me, “When you give men signals, ergo, you sleep on their shoulders, it’s natural for them to assume you’re interested and will try something. Heck, I’d even do it if we weren’t as close friends and you think I’m your girlfriend!“
“But Mike, it’s very natural for me to sleep on a guy’s shoulders!” I replied. “I’m a very affectionate person… I like to hug guys all the time, and don’t feel there’s anything wrong with it.”
“Exactly!” he exclaimed. “That’s your problem! You’re too flirty without knowing it, for your own good!”
So there you go guys… I need a Stanford ASAP. At least, he won’t jump into conclusions and wouldn’t even want to try anything stupid…
I still have one more day to find a travel buddy.
Who can be my Stanford?